Christmas

It was wonderful. Lots of family and friends to celebrate with us. This year we did not travel anywhere, but Jason's mom and her husband came and stayed with us and joined in the Hotze Christmas Craziness. My friend, Molly, also came.

Abram started it off by showing one of his new moves . . . the splits. The only picture of all five of them. Next year . . . EIGHT!

Abram got a garbage truck!

One of the first presents someone opened was in a big box of packing peanuts. Greysen and Abram were in heaven. They sat in that box and played for so long. Just yesterday my dad told me his favorite part of Christmas was "two boys in a box of peanuts." It was pretty cute.

Trying on Grey's fireman hat.The peanuts made for great things to load and dump with Abram's new diggers.Abram and Greysen went through a stage a few months ago where they usually only fought when they were together. Not any more. They are like two peas in a pod and follow each other around. They love to do what the other one is doing . . . such as hiding under the dessert table! Crazy Uncle wearing Greysen's fireman goggles!Brady and Uncle J

Jason's mom made the girls adorable hats! Yes, that would be my dad. Again, the goggles made an appearance. But not on the little boy who got them as a gift! Welcome to my family.

The siblings.

After we opened presents, my mom was bound and determined to go sledding. So, all the guys, the kids and mom went. Kate and I went later to "take pictures."

We did take pictures, but we also got in on the sledding action. It was SO FUN! I have not gone sledding for way over a decade. Even the little monkey went sledding . . . and liked it.Kate was H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S on her first ride down. She hit two unexpected bumps (going off the edge of the sand bunker -we were at the Huxley golf course) and looked like she was riding a horse, flapping her arms like they were holding reigns. And then she landed like this. Hysterical!

Uncle and Brady getting ready to go down.

Miss bundled-up-Mya Kate.

Sydney was too cold and back home by the time we go there. And Greysen was sleeping. We all decided sledding will definitely become an annual Christmas tradition (as long as there is snow!).

All-in-all, it was a wonderful Christmas!

His Name: A Christmas Poem

He lay in the straw, for he hadn’t a bed
No pillow on which to lay his precious head
He smelled of the livestock, and was covered in grime
There was no telling when he would bathe the next time

He was born in a world that didn’t want him around
And he ached with a hunger as he lay on the ground
He cried out in the night, but did anyone hear?
Did anyone care that he lived in such fear?

Men came to visit, they brought gifts from afar
They hailed him as great and they called him a star
For a few days they spent every moment with him
But they left just the same and weren’t heard from again

Who will he become as this boy starts to grow?
Will he rule a great kingdom, will great wealth he bestow?
He has so much love that he’s wanting to give
But no one will have him, he has no place to live


We know of this boy, we see where he stays
But we pay no attention, our own lives in a haze
We feel in our hearts a tug to take this boy in
But our favorite show’s on and the phone rings again

We get so caught up in our own pompous gains
That we fail to give back, we forget of God’s plans
Our lives are no greater than this boy or his friends
God created us all to be with Him in the end

During this Christmas season, don’t forget of this lad
He is cold and he’s lonely, and he yearns for a dad
His mother took off and he still feels the shame
But his legacy is love, and orphan is his name

Tony Stewart

All They Really Want for Christmas

Okay, I know this song is about five years old. But, clearly this song means a lot more this year. You should watch the video to listen to it. (I pasted the lyrics at the bottom of this post.) I was decorating cookies with my nieces most of the day yesterday and I made Mya keep repeating the CD this song is on. I've listened to it more than five times today. And of course I can't listen to this song without my eyes filling up with tears!

I have some more thoughts . . . but you need to watch/listen to the song first:

I love this song because it allows you to think about life - especially at Christmas - from the perspective of an orphan with no family.

Can you imagine what it would be like to long for a family? Can you imagine the pain of that kind of loneliness? Can you imagine wanting to ask someone to help you find a family but knowing it has never worked before?

I've realized lately that the reason I nearly bawl my eyes out any time I hear about the plight of orphans is not just that they are lonely and longing to belong to a family. It is not because they are hopeless.

The plight of orphans tears me apart because there IS a way for them to have a family.

The way is ADOPTION.

Yes, adoption is hard. Yes, adoption causes you to have to give up the comfortable picture you have of your family and fork out all the money you have (and don't have!). But, God loves to provide all that you need. He is waiting to come through. And He loves to provide JOY. There is so much joy in doing something that God cares deeply about - even though it is hard.

While I have already experienced a ton of joy (along with gigantic fears, too) in following God down the path of adoption in the past few months, yesterday I was caught up in a different kind of joy.

The joy of knowing that I get to be the MOM to three kids who, if asked, would only want one thing this Christmas . . . a family.

To be given the privilege by God to give three orphans what their little hearts long for is an inexpressible kind of joy. Granted, it is not the kind of joy that can sustain the trials that are to come (meaning, don't adopt just to get warm, fuzzy feelings). But, this joy is a gift that I am treasuring right now.

"All I Really Want For Christmas" Lyrics:
Well, I don't know if you remember me or not
I'm one of the kids they brought in from the home
I was the red-haired boy in an old, green flannel shirt
You may not have seen me, I was standing off alone

I didn't come and talk to you 'cause that's never worked before
And you'll probably never see this letter, anyway
But just in case there's something you can do to help me out
I'll ask you one more time

All I really want for Christmas is someone to tuck me in
A shoulder to cry on if I lose, shoulders to ride on if I win
There's so much I could ask for, but there's just one thing I need
All I really want for Christmas is a family

Well, I guess I should go ahead and tell you now
If it's really true about that list you have
Somehow I always seem to end up in a fight
But I'm really trying hard not to be bad

But maybe if I had a brother or a dad to wrestle with
Maybe they could teach me how to get along
And from everything I've heard, it sounds like the greatest gift on earth
Would be a mom

All I want for Christmas is someone who'll be here
To sing me happy birthday for the next 100 years
And It's okay if they're not perfect or even if they're a little broken
That's alright, 'Cause so am I

Well, I guess I should go, it's almost time for bed
Maybe next time I write you I'll be at home

'Cause all I really want for Christmas is someone to tuck me in
Tell me I'll never be alone, someone whose love will never end
Of all that I could ask for, well, there's just one thing I need
All I really want for Christmas is a family

Adoption Update

I thought I would post an adoption update to report where we are at and some of the things we learned while spending time with Sonja from MLJ this past weekend.

We have been waiting for our 171H document, which is the approval of our Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition (I-600A). I called to check on the status of it last week and just this morning. They couldn't find it this morning and said they would check on it. I was a little frustrated. But, guess what I found in my mailbox this afternoon? Our 171H approval! It states, "It has been determined (by the US govt.) that you are able to furnish proper care to an orphan(s)..." Yippee!

As soon as we receive the adoption papers from C-country, showing that all three of our kids have been legally adopted in their country, we can send in our next (and last, I think!) document. I've been told our in-country adoption papers should be arriving any day. Our next/last document to send in is the I-600, which is a petition to classify an orphan as an immediate relative.

So, here is my estimated current timeline: Send in our I-600 in 2 weeks + 6 weeks for the I-600 approval + 4 weeks (for two embassy appointments) = about 12 weeks until our kids come home!

When you break it down into 2 weeks, 6 weeks and 4 weeks, all of the sudden it sounds like our kids are coming soon! AHHHH!

People ask us a lot if we are excited. While we are definitely happy and grateful to be adopting three kids, "excited" isn't exactly the word that describes the feeling I have. Maybe it does for Jason, I'm not sure! Because we are adopting three kids, we are expecting it to be C.R.A.Z.Y and very difficult for awhile when they get here. While I am definitely looking forward to looking at our kids' faces and wrapping my arms around them and while I can't wait for them to finally have a family to belong to, I can't exactly say I am "excited" for the chaos that will inevitably ensue. Let's just say I'm enjoying the calm before the storm right now. (And I'm trying to finish Abram's baby book/adoption story before then, too!)

Our time with Sonja over the weekend was so great. All five of the families from Cornerstone who are adopting from MLJ had lunch with Sonja and sat around for two hours asking questions and hearing more about C-country, the process, the kids, etc. What a blessing! Sonja has met our girls and she told us how sweet they are. When she talked about how much the orphans dream of having a family to belong to, I started to lose it! We learned that MLJ has a social worker that meets with our girls once a week to help them process their being adopted. I love that they are doing that. She said we should get a report from the social worker right before they travel.

Someone asked what the kids eat. She said a lot of chicken and rice (whew! I can handle that), hot dogs and other fairly normal stuff. She said they aren't allowed to have much, if any, sugar in the foster homes. :) Sonja said the foster moms grow to love the kids a lot. She said the moms will love getting pictures of our kids once they are with us, so they can see them in their forever families. I have a new-found love and respect for our kids' foster moms.

Well, that is about the extent of what I remember from our time with Sonja. Getting to hear so many more details was like making the fuzzy picture I have in my head much more clear . . . and REAL.

10 Questions for Parents Preparing to Adopt or Foster

The following is from Empowered to Connect, which I've already mentioned is probably the single best resource to help parents who are adopting children internationally or fostering children.

We believe it is critically important that parents who are preparing to adopt or foster a child must be honest and realistic about the journey and the challenges that lie ahead. Just as Jesus in Luke 14 challenged those who would follow him to ‘count the cost,’ so too parents who respond to God’s call to adopt or foster must be willing to count the cost of the adoption journey and prepare to “lay down their lives” to love their child and help him or her become all that God intends.

The following questions are designed to help parents (and parents-to-be) begin to honestly assess the journey ahead…and what it will require. We encourage you to thoughtfully and prayerfully consider these questions. They are not meant to scare you or in any way discourage you from continuing on this amazing path. Instead, our desire is simply that these questions will point you toward the hope and help that you need to form a strong and lasting connection with your child as you faithfully follow God’s call in your life.

1. Are you willing to acknowledge and fully embrace your child’s history, including that which you know and that which you will likely never know?

2. Are you willing to accept that your child has been affected by his/her history, possibly in profound ways, and as a result that you will need to parent your child in a way that exhibits true compassion and promotes connection and healing?

3. Are you willing to parent differently than how you were parented, how you have parented in the past, or how your friends parent their children? Are you willing to “un-learn” certain parenting strategies and approaches that may not be effective with your child, even if you have used these strategies and approaches successfully with your other children in the past?

4. Are you willing to educate yourself, your parents, family and friends on an ongoing basis in order to promote understanding of your child’s needs and how best to meet those needs?

5. Are you willing to be misunderstood, criticized and even judged by others who do not understand your child’s history, the impacts of that history and how you have been called to love and connect with your child in order to help him/her heal and become all that God intends?

6. Are you prepared to advocate for your child’s needs, including at school, church, in extracurricular settings and otherwise, in order to create predictability and promote environments that enable your child to feel safe and allow him/her to succeed?

7. Are you willing to sacrifice your own convenience, expectations and desires in order to connect with your child and help him/her heal, even if that process is measured in years, not months?

8. Are you willing to fully embrace your child’s holistic needs, including his/her physical, emotional, relational and spiritual needs?

9. Are you willing to seek ongoing support and maintain long-term connections with others who understand your journey and the challenges that you face? Are you willing to intentionally seek and accept help when you encounter challenges with your child that you are not equipped to adequately deal with?

10. Are you willing to acknowledge that you as a parent bring a great deal to the equation when it comes to how your child will attach and connect? Are you willing to honestly examine (on an ongoing basis) your motivations and expectations relating to your adoption journey? Are you willing to look at your own past (including your past losses and trauma, both big and small) and consider how your past may impact your interactions with your child? Are you willing to consistently examine your role as parent as you experience challenges and difficulties along the journey?

As you read through the above questions, you may have concluded that some of the questions didn’t apply to you and your situation. That may be the case to some extent,as every adoption and foster care experience is unique. However, we encourage you to spend some time reading and talking with other experienced adoptive and foster parents about what you should realistically expect as you travel this journey. We find that parents sometimes start with less than accurate assumptions about how the adoption or foster care journey will unfold, and as a result they are more likely to form unrealistic expectations. We believe that these questions are helpful and instructive for all parents considering or pursuing adoption and foster care, and we hope that as you work through them they will lead you toward greater insight and understanding.

© 2010 Empowered To Connect

Don't Miss This Sunday!

I just want to post a reminder about the meeting with MLJ Adoptions C-country program director this Sunday, December 19th at 4:00p at the Cornerstone Church Cafe area.

This meeting is open to ANYONE . . . in Ames or outside of Ames, part of Cornerstone or not, thinking seriously about adoption, or just wanting to hear more.

This is seriously an AMAZING OPPORTUNITY! To be able to sit down and talk directly to a representative from a very reputable adoption agency - and in this case, the woman who established the C-country adoption program for the agency - and ask her anything, get more information, meet other families asking similar questions . . . incredibly valuable! In my experience, you usually have to go to these agencies to get this and they usually charge a fee. This is FREE and right here in Ames!

I hope to see you there!

Slumber Party

It had been way too long since we had a slumber party with the nieces and nephews, so that is what we did this past weekend.

And with Grammy in the house, you know there were crafts involved! Coloring ornaments was first. Even for the little guys.

I must say I loved this craft project because it is a good record of how big Abram's foot and hands are at this age. I'm definitely keeping Abram's reindeer! Here is Greysen showing off his.

Snitching mini marshmallows!

Our slumber party staple is malts. Uncle Jason got a little carried away with the squirty whipped cream . . . straight in the mouth!

Abram and his malt.

After Abram went to bed, we watched the new Karate Kid movie. It was so good, but Aunt Nen couldn't make it through the movie and was the next to bed.

Hot chocolate in the morning.

We just so happened to get our first snow of the year the night the kids spent the night. The little boys were in HEAVEN watching the snow plow in the morning!

One last group shot before they went home. It was definitely a good taste of what it is to come this Spring when our house is filled with three more little people permanently.

And lastly, the little monkey all bundled up for the snow. He puts up with his gloves because they have soccer balls on them.

Adoption Program Director Coming to Ames

I've mentioned before that we are adopting through MLJ Adoptions, out of Indianapolis, IN. Sonja Brown, the country director for the country we are adopting from, is flying to Ames on Sunday, December 19th. Her purpose is twofold:

1) Meet with the families who are already in the adoption process - since there are several right here in one place!

2) Meet with families who are interested in knowing more about adopting from C-country in Africa. She will be having a roundtable discussion to give info, answer your questions, etc. Here are the details:

Sunday, December 19th

4:00p

Cornerstone Church Cafe area

This meeting is open to ANYONE . . . in Ames or outside of Ames, part of Cornerstone or not, thinking seriously about adoption, or just wanting to hear more.

Please join us and spread the word to let others know about this great opportunity.

CBS Evening News video about Adoption

You have to watch this VIDEO (please bear with the inital comercial). It is from the CBS Evening News recently about a family who have adopted orphans with HIV. So cool!