Birthday Party

We had a birthday party on Monday . . . even though the birthday girl, Zahra - our oldest, 8-year old daughter was not here.We celebrated in the morning with banana muffins and eight candles.
All the cousins and some friends (Owen and Jaida) sang "Happy Birthday". . .
And blew out the candles.
All in Zahra's honor. It was the perfect little way to celebrate her life and our love for her.

One Step Closer

We finally received the approvals we have been waiting for. The finish line is in sight!

MLJ $500 Grant & Adoption Update

I'm finally back online after many days without internet due to the storm this past Sunday night.

First, I want to let everyone know about a $500 grant MLJ Adoptions is offering:

MLJ is offering an opportunity for new clients to receive grant monies throughout the month of July. The first 10 families who submit an application, application fee, contract and initial payment will receive a $500 grant to be credited toward their second payment. We understand that the adoption process is expensive; it is our hope that the cost never hinders those parents who feel called to adopt.

$500 might not seem like much in the grand scheme of adoption costs but I've said it before and I'll keep saying it . . . every little bit adds up to provide for payments that are due and God is the Great Multiplier! So, go for it!

Second, please keep praying for our I-600 approval to come in the mail. I talked to the officer working on our case last Thursday (a week ago). She told me that if I faxed her a couple documents she could get our approval sent out. I woke Abram up from his nap and faxed those babies within the hour! But I am still waiting for the approval in the mail.

On the bright side we received new pictures of our kids this week, which was a wonderful gift! They all continue to look like they have grown (thanks to MLJ's awesome foster program - they are getting good food and great care!). There were a few pictures of all three kids together. In her email to me with the pictures Sonja said, 'From what the staff is telling me they are all already acting like sisters and brother!' And they look like it in the pictures. It is so wonderful to see them all together! There were also two individual pictures of each of them. The best part of it all is that Isaiah is SMILING for the first time! We have received several pictures of him since we were referred to him last October and he never smiled in any of them. It made my heart happy to see him smile. He and Abram are going to be quite the pair. My guess - judging by how the shirt Isaiah was wearing that we sent him fits - is that Abram and Isaiah will be pretty close in size.

Why Does Adoption Take So Long?

I get asked this question a lot. My friend, Maria, shared a blog post with me that gives a great, summarized answer.

Why does adoption take so long? It’s a question I ask myself every day and the one I am asked most often by others.

It’s hard to reconcile how families could be stuck waiting to matched with a child (or wait so long to bring their children home once they have been matched) when there are hundreds of millions of orphans, desperate for families. At first glance, it doesn’t make much sense.

However, adoption is more complicated than simply connecting children in need of families with those willing to open their hearts to an orphan.

ORPHAN STATUS MUST BE VERIFIED

Just because a child appears to have been abandoned, or one or both parents have relinquished that child to an orphanage, does not mean that child can or should be adopted.

In order to ascertain what is in the best interest of a child, a government must determine that:

• the child is a true orphan
• there are no other relatives able or willing to care for the child on a permanent basis
• family reunification through sponsorship, mentoring, etc. is impossible
• no indigenous families are willing to adopt the child

Lengthy interviews must take place between government workers, living relatives and attorneys to answer these questions. Relatives can be difficult to locate and lawyers and government officers are often overworked. As a result, this process can be painfully slow. But, it is vital to ensure that every child who is adopted is a true orphan, and not the victim of child trafficking, etc.

FOREIGN GOVERNMENTS GET OVERWHELMED

Very often, a country opens to adoption and is then promptly swamped with parents hoping to adopt available children. This puts an enormous amount of pressure on a government still in the infant stages of building its program. Logistics, legal concerns, coordination with Western Embassies, and the like can pose an incredible challenge.

As more and more Westerners pursue inter-country adoption, corruption or the fear of corruption can make those in power quite nervous, causing them to slow the process down in order to ensure ethics are maintained.

Additionally, countries open to adoption often have periods of politically instability. Wars break out, elections go ary and tensions build. When these things occur, adoption programs can be disrupted for reasons that have nothing to do with adoption itself.

SPIRITUAL RESISTANCE IS A GIVEN

One of the biggest reason adoption takes so long is that the Enemy opposes it. Adoption is the Gospel in action, and a powerful picture of Christ’s love for us. We would be foolish to think Satan would not throw up every road block in his power to discourage us and thwart our attempts to become a loving family to a child without one. We must be on guard, and we must be committed to praying for our children and for their home countries.

I have spoken mostly about international adoption here, because that is what I know. My friends who have adopted domestically tell me the process is equally slow in America, albeit for different reasons in some cases.

Though the wait is lengthy and agonizing, I am convinced we should not be dissuaded from adoption. Our children need us to persevere and to fight for them. If you are waiting, don’t give up and don’t lose heart. It’s worth it.

Why do you think the adoption process takes so long?

I'm Back!

Hi. I'm Jen. I used to post on this blog somewhat regularly. But after moving to a new house, waiting three weeks to close, working every waking moment to get our house ready and then not having a camera for a month, let's just say the blog got a little neglected.

But, our house is DONE (for the most part and for now) and I just got a new camera so I am ready to start blogging again regularly! Several people have asked me for pictures of our new house and I am working on that. Stay tuned, pictures are coming soon. I am also planning to keep people more informed about the details of our adoption process and let you know how to pray specifically for us.

We really need your prayers!

After waiting for a document (I-600) that we should have gotten a month ago, I've decided it is time to rally the troops (that's you and anyone who would like to pray for us) to pray for the detailed steps remaining in our adoption. Satan is so opposed to adoption and I swear he tries to derail adoptions at EVERY SINGLE STEP along the way. I have seen this in others' adoptions and it has happened throughout our process.

So, for the next few days, PLEASE PRAY THAT WE WOULD RECEIVE OUR I-600 APPROVAL IN THE MAIL.

Once we receive the I-600 approval, the process of getting our kids' visas printed in their country can begin. Woohoo! After the visas are printed, the kids will have an exit interview at the embassy and once cleared will be able to fly HOME!

AHHH! I am so ready for them to be home!

This final process used to take 3-4 weeks but currently is taking 3 months. So, at this point it looks like the kids could come home at the end of September/October. BUT, I have heard the embassy hired another staff person so there is HOPE that possibly it could go quicker. Through your prayers and ours prayers and the power of God, I am hoping that it will go quicker than 3 months.

Thanks for praying for us!

The Kids' Foster Mothers in Africa

A staff member from our agency recently traveled to C---- for the first time (and escorted a child home). She wrote a post on our agency's blog about her experience and let me tell you, it made my heart very happy!

"Those waiting to bring home your C----lese child might be comforted by my experience. I was most impressed with the foster mothers. They would remind you of your grandmother or favorite aunt. They were beautiful ladies, dressed in a classy style, and very loving to the children in their care. Some had even given the children nicknames based upon their personalities. The little guy I was escorting would laugh and giggle when his foster mother talked to him. It was obvious they had bonded and she knew how to meet his needs. This is very healthy for attachment; it will make your adjustment less difficult because your child has learned to trust adults to care for his needs."

What an incredible blessing to know our kids are being taken such great care of while they wait to come home. I have been (not as often as I would like) praying for our kids' foster mothers, that God will use them in a unique way to provide the love and care our kids need right now. When I begin to worry about how long they have been in foster care (longer than planned since our process keeps getting delayed), I have to trust God that He is using their foster families for His purposes in their little lives. Getting this report this week was incredibly encouraging!

Adoption Update

I should have combined this post with the picture of Abram in his Africa shirt but I guess I was too excited about the shirt!

We finally received the first of many adoption documents we have been waiting for since December. It took our friends six weeks to get these same documents for their boys and it has taken us three months. BUT, you will hear no complaining from me! It seems God orchestrated this to allow time for Him to provide us with a bigger house. If we would have gotten the documents in six weeks, we would not have had time to buy a house and move before the kids come.

I'm waiting for the documents to be translated to English. Once we get the English translations (in a week) I can send everything in with the I-600. From there, it should take about three months (or so) for the kids to arrive. If it weren't for us needing time to buy and move into a new house I would be getting very antsy waiting. Fortunately, I have plenty to do to keep me busy until then!

We also received Isaiah's birth certificate and finally know his birth date. I have been looking forward to finding out his birth date (even though it is probably not accurate) to know how far apart in age he and Abram are. His birthday is in October 2008, which makes Abram and Isaiah only six months apart! And in the same grade (potentially). LOVE IT! It also means Isaiah is just one month older than my nephew, Greysen. Fun!

All Three Together

We got two new pictures from our agency over the weekend. Up to this point the pictures we have gotten are of each of the kids individually. However, this time we got two pictures of ALL THREE OF OUR KIDS TOGETHER! I cannot even tell you how wonderful and amazing it is to see them all three together . . . looking like the siblings that they are. AMAZING!

What's more is that from the picture we could see Zahra being the protective older sister, holding Isaiah back from running away, while Zoe was just smiling ear to ear, having a great time. It is fun to get to see a glimpse of their personalities through the pictures so far - especially these two.

When you have to begin these mother-child relationships from thousands of miles away, it is crazy what a simple picture can do to your heart. Looking at them all three together, I felt deep inside my soul that these are my kids - in a way I can't explain but that is more real than ever. I've never felt more like their mom than I do after seeing these last two pictures. God is faithful because as I've blogged about before, growing to love older kids through just a picture is a definite process. God continues to do the work that only He can do to graft these children into my heart.

The only trouble with feeling more like their mom is that it makes me want to wrap my arms around them. The picture of the three of them popped into my mind half-way through the last song at church on Sunday and of course, I lost it! Many tears, wishing my kids could be home.

Sending Another Package to the Kids

I'm getting ready to send what I think may be the last package to our kids. I don't think I ever posted the second package I sent in November. In that package, I was able to send things to Isaiah for the first time: shorts outfit, flip flops, pants outfit and socks (it gets cool at night), a sweatshirt, one of Abram's old blankets (that I LOVED), a puppy dog (this is the second one I bought...Abram fell in love with the first one I bought for Isaiah so I let him keep it), two little diggers, a book and our photo ablum.I have been very curious how these clothes fit Isaiah so I can get a better feel for how big he is. We just got new pictures of all three kids a week ago and Mr. Isaiah is SWIMMING in his 2T shorts. I swear he looks bigger than Abram in the few pictures we have, but now I'm thinking they might be the same size. Oh, I can't wait to see those boys together when the kids come home!

Here is what I sent to Zoe in the second package: a dress, shorts outfit, sweater, p-pops, socks, necklaces, notepad, stickers, pens, a doodle pad and of course a little bag to keep all of those treasures in.

Zahra got the same things, just a different variety.

This time around I am sending them backpacks for their trip home! Sonja said that they will bring home all of the things we have sent them. I found these super cute travel pillows (with matching blankets Grammy bought). I thought the pillows and blankets would not only be good for them to have on their plane ride home, but also possible keepsakes, representing their travel from Africa to the US. Also in their package is a stuffed elephant, coloring book, colors, two books and little pet shop dogs/my little ponys.

Isaiah got a football travel pillow, cars, books, a doodle board, two balls (if we remember to put them in his bag - Abram has been obsessed with them!), 24 month pants, short outfit, socks and some of Abram's p-pops.

And these below are not going to Africa, but will be awaiting our African princesses when they arrive home (or in the van at the airport in Chicago...I haven't decided). I have wanted them to have black baby dolls, but didn't like the options I was finding online. When I saw these Tiana princesses (from Princess and the Frog, which I hear is not a good movie for kids to watch), I loved them. Thanks to my aunt and uncle for the Target gift card to get them with!

Three Names

Shortly after I sent out our Christmas picture I realized that I've never blogged about the names we have given the three kids we are adopting. This was not intentional, it has just been one of those things (along with many other things) that I haven't gotten around to blogging about.

So, here is what we are naming our kids: Zahra, Zoe & Isaiah. We will keep their African names (which I can't put on the blog until they get home) as their middle names. The jury is still out as to whether they will have a second American/family middle name (like Abram does).

Zahra (pronounced Zar-a, rhymes with car-a): Means "beautiful or shining flower"
This name has been on my "names I like" list since before we started this adoption process. I have no idea where I found it. I think it is actually an Arabic name. When we first started learning about the plight of orphans in C-country, the picture I had of the kids there was very grey and drab, with no color. I pictured a lot of concrete and dirt. When I saw that Zahra means beautiful or shining flower, I LOVED it. To me it was a picture of God taking a nearly lifeless orphan, bringing her into a FAMILY and then seeing her life bloom with the color and beauty of a flower. That is my hope for Zahra, our oldest daughter.

Zoe (prounounded Zo-E): Means "Life"
This meaning does not need much explanation. What better gift to give an orphan than LIFE - both physical and spiritual. We choose Zoe for our six year old girl because I can tell from the few pictures we received that she has some lively spunk in her. The name just fits her.

Isaiah: Means "God is salvation"
Jason and I have both loved this name for a long time and it was near the top of the list for Abram's name. The main reason we love the name Isaiah for our boy we are adopting is that we were studying the book of Isaiah at Cornerstone when we started this adoption process. God used many of the truths and themes of Isaiah to move in our hearts to care for orphans and to lead and guide us to adopt three kids from Africa.

This passage from Isaiah 58, in particular, was very defining for us:

6 “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness[a] will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

“If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
10 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
11 The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
12 Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

It is not only the call to spend ourselves for the hungry, but also the promise that God will satisfy our needs in a sun-scorched land and strengthen us that we are clinging to.

All They Really Want for Christmas

Okay, I know this song is about five years old. But, clearly this song means a lot more this year. You should watch the video to listen to it. (I pasted the lyrics at the bottom of this post.) I was decorating cookies with my nieces most of the day yesterday and I made Mya keep repeating the CD this song is on. I've listened to it more than five times today. And of course I can't listen to this song without my eyes filling up with tears!

I have some more thoughts . . . but you need to watch/listen to the song first:

I love this song because it allows you to think about life - especially at Christmas - from the perspective of an orphan with no family.

Can you imagine what it would be like to long for a family? Can you imagine the pain of that kind of loneliness? Can you imagine wanting to ask someone to help you find a family but knowing it has never worked before?

I've realized lately that the reason I nearly bawl my eyes out any time I hear about the plight of orphans is not just that they are lonely and longing to belong to a family. It is not because they are hopeless.

The plight of orphans tears me apart because there IS a way for them to have a family.

The way is ADOPTION.

Yes, adoption is hard. Yes, adoption causes you to have to give up the comfortable picture you have of your family and fork out all the money you have (and don't have!). But, God loves to provide all that you need. He is waiting to come through. And He loves to provide JOY. There is so much joy in doing something that God cares deeply about - even though it is hard.

While I have already experienced a ton of joy (along with gigantic fears, too) in following God down the path of adoption in the past few months, yesterday I was caught up in a different kind of joy.

The joy of knowing that I get to be the MOM to three kids who, if asked, would only want one thing this Christmas . . . a family.

To be given the privilege by God to give three orphans what their little hearts long for is an inexpressible kind of joy. Granted, it is not the kind of joy that can sustain the trials that are to come (meaning, don't adopt just to get warm, fuzzy feelings). But, this joy is a gift that I am treasuring right now.

"All I Really Want For Christmas" Lyrics:
Well, I don't know if you remember me or not
I'm one of the kids they brought in from the home
I was the red-haired boy in an old, green flannel shirt
You may not have seen me, I was standing off alone

I didn't come and talk to you 'cause that's never worked before
And you'll probably never see this letter, anyway
But just in case there's something you can do to help me out
I'll ask you one more time

All I really want for Christmas is someone to tuck me in
A shoulder to cry on if I lose, shoulders to ride on if I win
There's so much I could ask for, but there's just one thing I need
All I really want for Christmas is a family

Well, I guess I should go ahead and tell you now
If it's really true about that list you have
Somehow I always seem to end up in a fight
But I'm really trying hard not to be bad

But maybe if I had a brother or a dad to wrestle with
Maybe they could teach me how to get along
And from everything I've heard, it sounds like the greatest gift on earth
Would be a mom

All I want for Christmas is someone who'll be here
To sing me happy birthday for the next 100 years
And It's okay if they're not perfect or even if they're a little broken
That's alright, 'Cause so am I

Well, I guess I should go, it's almost time for bed
Maybe next time I write you I'll be at home

'Cause all I really want for Christmas is someone to tuck me in
Tell me I'll never be alone, someone whose love will never end
Of all that I could ask for, well, there's just one thing I need
All I really want for Christmas is a family

Adoption Update

I thought I would post an adoption update to report where we are at and some of the things we learned while spending time with Sonja from MLJ this past weekend.

We have been waiting for our 171H document, which is the approval of our Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition (I-600A). I called to check on the status of it last week and just this morning. They couldn't find it this morning and said they would check on it. I was a little frustrated. But, guess what I found in my mailbox this afternoon? Our 171H approval! It states, "It has been determined (by the US govt.) that you are able to furnish proper care to an orphan(s)..." Yippee!

As soon as we receive the adoption papers from C-country, showing that all three of our kids have been legally adopted in their country, we can send in our next (and last, I think!) document. I've been told our in-country adoption papers should be arriving any day. Our next/last document to send in is the I-600, which is a petition to classify an orphan as an immediate relative.

So, here is my estimated current timeline: Send in our I-600 in 2 weeks + 6 weeks for the I-600 approval + 4 weeks (for two embassy appointments) = about 12 weeks until our kids come home!

When you break it down into 2 weeks, 6 weeks and 4 weeks, all of the sudden it sounds like our kids are coming soon! AHHHH!

People ask us a lot if we are excited. While we are definitely happy and grateful to be adopting three kids, "excited" isn't exactly the word that describes the feeling I have. Maybe it does for Jason, I'm not sure! Because we are adopting three kids, we are expecting it to be C.R.A.Z.Y and very difficult for awhile when they get here. While I am definitely looking forward to looking at our kids' faces and wrapping my arms around them and while I can't wait for them to finally have a family to belong to, I can't exactly say I am "excited" for the chaos that will inevitably ensue. Let's just say I'm enjoying the calm before the storm right now. (And I'm trying to finish Abram's baby book/adoption story before then, too!)

Our time with Sonja over the weekend was so great. All five of the families from Cornerstone who are adopting from MLJ had lunch with Sonja and sat around for two hours asking questions and hearing more about C-country, the process, the kids, etc. What a blessing! Sonja has met our girls and she told us how sweet they are. When she talked about how much the orphans dream of having a family to belong to, I started to lose it! We learned that MLJ has a social worker that meets with our girls once a week to help them process their being adopted. I love that they are doing that. She said we should get a report from the social worker right before they travel.

Someone asked what the kids eat. She said a lot of chicken and rice (whew! I can handle that), hot dogs and other fairly normal stuff. She said they aren't allowed to have much, if any, sugar in the foster homes. :) Sonja said the foster moms grow to love the kids a lot. She said the moms will love getting pictures of our kids once they are with us, so they can see them in their forever families. I have a new-found love and respect for our kids' foster moms.

Well, that is about the extent of what I remember from our time with Sonja. Getting to hear so many more details was like making the fuzzy picture I have in my head much more clear . . . and REAL.

Adoption Program Director Coming to Ames

I've mentioned before that we are adopting through MLJ Adoptions, out of Indianapolis, IN. Sonja Brown, the country director for the country we are adopting from, is flying to Ames on Sunday, December 19th. Her purpose is twofold:

1) Meet with the families who are already in the adoption process - since there are several right here in one place!

2) Meet with families who are interested in knowing more about adopting from C-country in Africa. She will be having a roundtable discussion to give info, answer your questions, etc. Here are the details:

Sunday, December 19th

4:00p

Cornerstone Church Cafe area

This meeting is open to ANYONE . . . in Ames or outside of Ames, part of Cornerstone or not, thinking seriously about adoption, or just wanting to hear more.

Please join us and spread the word to let others know about this great opportunity.

They Belong to Us

I've been meaning to share some of the processing I've had to do to wrap my heart around the fact that there are two girls in Africa who are my daughters. I think it is important to share because one great fear I know a lot of people have is that they won't love an adopted child like their biological children. Of course I don't have a biological child, but I have no doubt that I don't love Abram any less than a mom loves her biological children. :)

International adoption is different. You are all of the sudden shown a picture of child a million miles away and you have to decide if he or she will become your son or daughter. In theory, it sounds like a wonderful, glorious moment . . . the day you finally see a picture of your child. In my experience, however, it is a heavy, daunting feeling.

When I first saw our girls' pictures, I felt SCARED. TO. DEATH. I was scared of how emotionally wounded they might be. I was scared if they would love me as their mom or not. I was scared if I would love them as my daughters. Will they ever attach to me? I think a lot of this had to do with the fact that they were 5 1/2 (actually 7 now)and six years old and not the cute, snuggly little 3-4 year olds I was expecting. I didn’t get those warm, fuzzy feelings you get when you look at cute little African orphan babies in a slideshow.

Another thing happened as soon as we accepted the referrals of our "older" girls, almost three months ago. I became very aware of my niece Sydney's little 4-year old world. I noticed how much of life she comprehended, her language, her affection and all of her 4-year old cuteness. It made me ponder how long it would take our girls - 7 and 6 years old - to catch up with all that she understood of the world around her. It overwhelmed me at times.

During the time of my heightened 4-year old awareness, I spent a weekend away with Sydney (and Mya, Kate and mom). For two to three days after that trip, I was depressed. I was so incredibly sad for all of the 4-year old crawl-up-on-your-lap cuteness that I will have missed out on in my girls lives. I did a lot of crying, grieving those losses.

But, grief is a gift from God. He gives us the tool of grief to move from one place in our heart to another, new place in our heart. I am so thankful for grief (though it is no fun at all to go through). During this short time of grieving, I read the following from Oswald Chambers (My Utmost for His Highest, Sept. 25):

“Our Lord's making of a disciple is supernatural. He does not build on any natural capacity of ours at all. God does not ask us to do the things that are naturally easy for us - He only asks us to do the things that we are perfectly fit to do through His grace, and that is where the cross we must bear will always come.”

I also read: "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment." (1 John 4:18)

And finally: ". . . in quietness and trust will be your strength" (Isaiah 30:15)

My heart was (and often still is) overwhelmed at the thought of bringing in these two older girls who have had significant neglect and trauma in their short little lives. But, God's truth spoke peace into my weary heart. My strength and ability to love and help these girls rests solely on God. There is a sweet freedom and joy in this place.

Sure enough by the next week I felt the beginnings of love for my daughters. Making a photo album for them helped. Buying shorts and shirts and underwear for them helped. But, it has been a process . . . a process that involved a lot of tears while crying out to God during worship at church for about four weeks in a row, asking Him to do what seemed impossible from my point of view. Jesus has been faithful and He has grown a fierce love inside me for my girls.

Just this past week, we received new pictures of all three kids. The girls were wearing the clothes and flip flops we sent and holding the baby dolls we sent. And they looked SO DIFFERENT from their first pictures in the orphanage. I honestly thought they sent me the wrong pictures of my girls. 10 weeks in a foster home, receiving love, nurture and better nutrition has made a huge difference. Not to mention the knowledge that they are no longer orphans. Our social worker said the girls were smiling because they know we are adopting them.

In one of the pictures we received, our six year old daughter was holding the photo album we sent with a picture of Jason, Abram and I on the cover. The look on her face is so cute. You can tell she is happy, almost proud, to be showing a picture of her family. Just three months ago they were orphans with no hope, no family, no one to love them as their own. And you could see it on their sad, empty faces in their first pictures. They now not only have hope, but a family.

In the most recent pictures, both girls are wearing a nametag that says LEE, _ _ _ _ _ (first name). They finally BELONG to someone. They BELONG to the Lee's.

They belong to us.

Some Numbers

The United Nations reports that the number of orphans around the world waiting for help is more than 140 million. Every 14 seconds a child loses a parent due to AIDS. Every day, almost 16,000 children die of hunger. That’s 12 million every year.
These statistics can be paralyzing. So overwhelming that it seems useless to even try to do anything. I've been there. I still feel it. Even while we are in the process to adopt three orphans these numbers feel staggering.

While it can seem that just adopting one or two (or three if you are really crazy!) doesn't make much difference, when you adopt an orphan, that means that there is ONE . . . or TWO . . . or THREE . . . LESS ORPHANS IN THE WORLD.

That is a HUGE difference!

This past Sunday we got to hang out with four families, three of whom have adopted.

Out of the 15 kids, SEVEN of them were adopted. Six had been international orphans (the seventh was Abram): One from Ghana, two from Liberia, two from Haiti and one from Ukraine. How awesome to see SIX LESS ORPHANS in one backyard!
God is on the move at our church, moving in people's hearts to care for orphans. As of today, there are SEVEN families from Cornerstone who are adopting orphans from one country in Africa! Five of those families are adopting TWO kids, one weird family is adopting THREE and I'm not sure if the seventh family (who just mailed in their application today!) is adopting one or two. That is 14 or 15 orphans who are about to be orphans no longer. There are also two other families we know of who are planning to or strongly considering starting the process.
I am absolutely in awe of what God is doing! Of course it does not begin to skim the surface of 140 million orphans. But, what if more families adopt? What if this kind of movement happens in more churches/communities?

Did you know that if 8 percent of people who profess to be Christians adopted, there would be no more orphans?
I'm not trying to take care of 140 million orphans here. I'm just trying to make a point that adopting one or two or three orphans makes a HUGE difference. You are changing the life of a child. A child who is fatherless, lonely, in distress and doesn't belong to anyone. Can you imagine not belonging to anyone?
I have read that while there are many things we can do to support orphans (send money for food, clothes, medicine, etc.), the only way to end the orphan crisis is to give orphans a FOREVER FAMILY. A family to belong to.

What is keeping you from considering adoption? You know I have to ask! I am praying that God continues to lead more and more and more families to give an orphan . . . or two . . . or three a forever family.

Domestic Adoption: Orphan or Not?

I follow a blog of a family with adopted and biological kids called Joining the Journey. I thought a recent post I read by the mother should be repeated. Here it is:

Right from the beginning, I am going to give the disclaimer that I am not an expert on this subject. The past few weeks I have had quite a few emails regarding domestic adoptions. I am VERY PASSIONATE about these babies and their birthmothers. Abortion is RAMPANT here in the US. It is an easy "out," for some women but for some, is their only option (so they think). African American children are the last children to be adopted. With both of our domestic adoptions, we were our birthmothers only options.

I have journeyed through two domestic adoptions. They were both TOTALLY different. (kinda like pregnancies, no two are alike) I have had positive responses like "I am so glad that you have children from the US, we have so many kids over here that need families and everybody keeps going overseas!!" Then there are negative responses like " are these children REALLY orphans? I mean, they have a mother, they are not sitting in an orphanage with no one to love them...they are in America, they are not going to starve to death, and not receive the medical care that is needed."

I've been walking with a friend through a domestic adoption. The social worker calls and says "we would like to show your profile to a birth mom.....here is her story..." Then, YOU decide if you want your profile to be shown....the struggle starts. Do we show it? Are we open to STD's? marijuana? cigarettes? alcohol? and the list goes on....and then you start feeling like you are "playing God." we WILL do this, we WON'T do that, we are open to this.....The grandparents start sharing about how they are concerned about the heartache that the adoption will bring. They ask: "What about the birthparents medical history? what if they have had mental illness?"

Well, if you do an international adoption...do you know any of those details? NO! But for some reason, it is safer in people's minds. [Jen's note: this has not been my experience.] Perhaps what you don't know won't hurt you? How do you "classify" an orphan? The definitions of the word orphan vary from 1)a child who has lost both parents 2)someone who lacks care, or support or supervision 3) a fatherless child.

At the end of the day, in domestic adoption, there is a single woman (typically) who cannot care for her child. IT IS A TRAGEDY. Regardless of your circumstances, there is not ONE single part of a mother's heart that wants to hand the child that she has been carrying for nine months to someone else to love. Often, after laboring and delivering these babies, these girls feel a love for these babies that they HAVE NEVER KNOWN or FELT in their entire lives, just to do the most sacrificial act, give them away, so that they can have a better life than they could ever offer. Even the children that are created from the act of rape. After carrying these babies for nine months, the mothers have so much love for them.

I have a whole new perspective of these ladies that make an adoption plan after walking through the process alongside them. I pray for all three of my children's birth mom's EACH AND EVERY day and I thank my sweet Jesus for those women. I will never forget the first time that I was handed Joshua and the mom walked away. I literally fell in a slump over him and wept until I could hardly breathe. I felt as though my heart had been plucked straight from my chest. My heart THROBBED on her behalf. It was THE MOST life changing moment of my life and I have NEVER been the same since....

If there wasn't domestic adoption, we would have to have orphanages in the US. We would be so overwhelmed in our foster systems. If there wasn't this option for many of these mothers, we would find many more children left in dumpsters or they would try to parent them and who knows what the the future of these children would be. Abortion would be even MORE rampant. So, I am asked regularly "where is the largest need?" Hhhhhmmm...everywhere, there are hundreds of millions of needs.

Do we really think that our sweet Savior is sitting on his throne picking and choosing which child we should love because one is more in need than the other? Do we really think that if we bring a child into our home through domestic OR international that one might be where we are NOT "called" and if we bring one home from the wrong place that we will not be in His will and be sinning against Him? Sometimes I think that He just sits up there on that throne and just shakes his head thinking "THEY ARE MISSING IT!!!!" I just want you to love each other. It is so simple....LOVE ONE ANOTHER. We spend so much time thinking about WHAT we should do, instead of actually putting it to action.

I have done domestic adoption and international adoption. I would choose them BOTH again, again, and again. I would choose an HIV+ child again , again, and again.

Oh the Roller Coaster of Adoption

Two weeks ago, it was as if Jason and I got in a little roller coaster car. Only I think we forgot to put our seat belts on! We had quite the ride of highs and lows.

The week started with the two new pictures of our girls that my last blog post was about. Those pictures helped me take a few more steps down the road of loving these girls like my own (it is definitely a process . . . more on that later). In my last blog post I mentioned that we thought our 5 1/2 year old looked older than that. Sometime on Tuesday we learned that she is not 5 1/2, but 7 years old. SEVEN. We thought we wanted 3 and 4 year old girls. Then we thought we were adopting 5 1/2 and 6 year old girls. We are now adopting 6 and 7 year old girls. Welcome to the world of adoption!

Seeing 7 years old was a shock initally, but I am really okay with it. By now these are our girls, so it doesn't matter how old they are or what illnesses they might have, etc. (they both received good reports of health by the way).

On Wednesday night, out-of-the-blue, I had the first-ever panic attack of my life. I didn't know what was going on at the time, but it was terribly frightening. I now know it was a gigantic arrow from the evil one.

On Friday I reached the end of my rope regarding an issue that is holding up our home study. About three weeks ago we learned that in addition to the background check I already had processed and received from Thailand, I now may also need a child abuse registry check from Thailand. (Why we were not informed to have this done along with the background check remains to be learned and is very frustrating). Today - a week and a half later - there is still no resolution on the matter. I'll spare you the details. But, it has been incredibly frustrating to say the least.

A few weeks ago I remember quoting myself saying, "God knows exactly when our kids are coming home and nothing that happens during the paperwork of adoption will change that." Those words were easy to say four weeks ago. They have been very difficult to believe the past two weeks. But, I am trusting that God can take care of my Thailand issue in 10 seconds from now if He wanted. We are waiting on Him.

On Saturday our little roller coaster ride climbed to new heights. First, in the morning we received some detailed information about our girls' history. We were not expecting to get any information like this so we were very surprised. The information is a priceless treasure. While it is heartbreaking to read, knowing more specific details about their abandonment, how long they have been in the orphanage, school, etc. REALLY helped this whole thing to feel more real and it helped us feel more connected to the girls. I won't say much about their history, but I will say that they were definitely old enough to remember their abandonment and that has been very heavy on my heart lately. Oh, the pain they must feel. We also learned that they have been in school for the past few years, which is encouraging.

One of our girls said (to our agency's social worker) that she knows she has a family in the US and she wants to join them soon. How SWEET is that??!!

Knowing that we are now going to have six and seven year old girls now, Jason and I talked a lot that Saturday morning/afternoon on a drive to Pella and back about what age of little boy we should ask for. Should we specifically ask for an infant, a boy Abram's age or let God just give us what He is going to give us? Sometimes this whole "getting to decide the age-thing" is overwhelming. We originally said between 0-2, but we also weren't expecting to have to homeschool two girls so soon. We didn't really come to a conclusion during our drive.

When we got home from Pella there was an email in my inbox with a picture of a two year old boy, saying he was available for adoption and would we like to adopt him. It was as if God said, "Here you go. I'll make this easy for you. Here is your boy!" He is now our boy and we are naming him Isaiah. He has big, beautiful eyes like his brother, Abram. God has been so faithful every step of the way to show us His direction.

Saturday night, however, the roller coaster ride took another dive. All of a sudden (AGAIN) Jason couldn't see out of part of his right eye. Again it was quite frightening for both of us. We called an eye doctor, Jason did some exercises and it seems to get better. Another arrow from the enemy.

That Saturday night it became clear that the enemy of our faith is out to get us. He is not happy that God is rescuing three orphans through the Lee family. At that point I was absolutely and completely emotionally wiped out. The week's overwhelming highs and lows and frustrations had did me in. I had to just go to bed. I couldn't function.

I'm so thankful God's mercy is new every morning.

I share all of this to keep our adoption journey real. I have heard other adoptive families talk about the spiritual warfare that begins to take place when they start to adopt and I guess we are now experiencing it for ourselves. By the grace of God we will continue to press on to bring these orphans home to their forever family. We are weak and cannot do it, but Jesus can. We are relying on Him.

Update on our Girls

There is nothing super significant to report, other than we got two new pictures of the girls yesterday. It was so good to see them in the context of doing something, rather than just the head-shots that we've received.

The in-country staff attorney took some of the kids who are in the process of being adopted on a little trip to the C River. What a blessing for them that they got to do that. I doubt they ever get to do things like that. And do you know what else is great about that trip? Our good friends' (Bobby & Maria Scott) little boy was also on the trip! That means that our kids are getting to spend time together already, most likely not realizing they will get to be friends (or at least see a familar face) once they are adopted. God is so good!

We've had a hunch that our 5 1/2 year old (Audie) is probably older than that. These new pictures confirm that. But, we are fine with whatever the staff in country deem as her age.

We were able to send a package to the girls last week. (One of the in-country staff is escorting a child/children to the states who is being adopted and will take our package back to the girls.)

It was so fun to go shopping for things for their package. It made me finally start to feel like they are my children and I am their mom. Something about buying underwear does that! I loved it! We weren't given any parameters about what to send other than to be sure to send a photo album.

Here is what I sent:
I had to guess on sizes, but bought size 6 clothes and the same size of flip-flops as Mya wears. I also got them each a coloring book that came with a few crayons and a very small baby doll. Believe it or not, Target had these dolls in the caucasion version and in the slighty darker-skinned version. They aren't black by any means (they are more like hispanic dolls!), but they will do for now.

And, of course, we sent photo albums. Oh, those photo albums took me some time to make. But, in the end it was worth it. I ended up doing Shutterfly albums (thanks to Janel Sullivan's advice) because I needed to be able to organize the pictures in a way the girls would understand who is who. Then, Jill gave me a genius idea . . . to translate the text I typed into French (the language they speak). So, I put all the captions in English and French. I doubt the girls can read French, but at least now there is a chance someone around them can read it to them in French. Every day I wonder what they are going to think when they get those photo albums. I have been praying they would be filled (to some extent) with hope/anticipation/excitement about being adopted.

Here they are, ready to be mailed (I intentionally blurred out the names).
I have also been working on getting the girls' room ready (putting pictures of their room in their photo albums motivated me). It has been so much fun.

I got these two chairs at the Iowa State Surplus sale (every Wednesday from 12:00-3:00p by Ag Leader) for $5 each. They are very solid, nice chairs and just the girls's size.

This past weekend I sanded and painted them. I have a new love for Rust-0-leum spray paint. That stuff is awesome! It is very easy to apply, not sticky and very, very durable. Say goodbye to painting furniture with a brush.

Here they are in the girls' room.

Their bunk beds. I found the bedspreads at Younkers this summer and fell in love with them. Bunk beds from Homemakers on sale, lamp from Mya and Sydney, night stand from Craigslist, curtains the perfect color on clearance at Target. I have had fun spending my hard-earned painting money (from two big painting jobs in July/August).

I painted the walls the light teal color from the bedspreads.

My favorite find was this mirror. I got it at Goodwill for $5 and painted it the same glossy white as the chairs. I found the "Love" at Pier One ($4) and spray-painted it the same color (hammered metal) as the dresser pulls. The candlesticks are from Goodwill . The dresser is from Craigslist (it was already painted white).This is all they will have for a closet, so I turned it into somewhat of a second dresser (I guess we won't be hanging any clothes). I bought a step stool so they could climb up and reach. Most stores this summer (Target, Walmart, Lowes) had all of their organization bins in the same cranberry color as the bedspreads. What luck for me! Even their laundry basket matches.

I had plans for putting things on the wall. But, I read a very informative blog post that gave advice about adopting older kids. One thing a couple moms with experience said is to keep things at home as simple and decluttered as possible. It is just too overwhelming for kids who have only seen dirt and concrete all their lives. For that reason, I am going to put a curtain over their closet door frame to hide the organized, but busy look. And I'll put the cute little candlesticks away. After the girls get somewhat adjusted, it will be fun to have them help me put decorations on their walls.

Two Girls

We are officially the proud parents of two girls from the country we are adopting from!

We accepted their referrals a week and a half ago. But between getting ready for Leti to come and being struck by the worst allergy attack in my life, I held off to blog about it until Leti came. And then I had to finish the Leti series (I told Leti blogging about her time her helped me mourn her being gone!).

Here's how it happened, now almost two weeks ago:

On Tuesday afternoon, I received an email from our social worker with the picture of a 5 1/2 year old girl, asking if we would like to adopt her. We were hoping for two girls between 3-5 years old, so we weren't sure. 5 1/2 isn't too far from our age range, but we were still expecting them to be younger. One of my main concerns was that we would have to start school in the near future with a 5 1/2 year old (we are planning to home school for a time). Yikes! That really makes me nervous.

Ever since we have started talking about adopting orphans, we have both had a heart for older children - mostly because they are the most neglected, not as many people want to adopt them. But, we decided to ask for younger girls (3-5 years old), because man's wisdom says that younger kids adopted from international orphanages/places have less issues to deal with. They are "easier" to deal with, to train, etc. In considering a 5 1/2 year old girl, we knew she may have more "issues."

But, what if God wants us to adopt her? Perhaps he knows that she has less issues than a four year old may have. Perhaps He plans to give us more grace to love and raise her. Or, perhaps it will be more difficult than a younger girl. There is just no way to know.

As I wrestled with all of these things and thought about how God wants us to care for orphans, there was one thought that flooded me:

The Bible calls us to care for orphans. But does the Bible say, "Care for orphans, especially those cute, younger toddlers who you'll have more time to train?" No. God says to simply care for orphans in their distress. All orphans. Young orphans. Older orphans.

And here before us was a 5 1/2 year old orphan who needed a home and a family. If she is not adopted in the next couple years of her life, she will probably never be adopted. She will be kicked out of the orphanage at age 14 and be enslaved to a life of prostitution. These are the facts.

It was not out of guilt, but out of following the loving voice of our heavenly Father, who loves to rescue orphans, that we said YES to the 5 1/2 year old girl. I cannot share her name publically, but let's just call her Audie.

I wrote our social worker Wednesday night to let her know we would adopt Audie. In my email I asked her several questions to know more about this little girl . . . how long had she been in the orphanage, how do you pronounce her name, does she have any friends in the orphanage, etc. She emailed me back early Thursday morning saying that Audie did have a friend about the same age as her at the orphanage and is available for adoption. Would we like to adopt her? (She attached her picture. She is 6 years old.)

HMMMM . . . 5 and 6 year old girls. Definitely not what we had in mind.

But here is the big way God showed up and made it very clear to us: Since we started our international adoption in June, I have been PRAYING THAT THE GIRLS WE ADOPT WOULD BE FRIENDS ALREADY. I can't even tell you why I felt so strongly that I should pray that, but I did. And I remember most of the time I prayed this, I told God that I knew it was asking a lot, but I knew He could do it if He wanted to.

And He did it! And He used that prayer request and His answer to it to guide us to say YES to these two girls. I'm not sure we would have otherwise said yes to the second girl who was older. But, knowing that I prayed for them to be friends and they are, in fact, friends, God made it a pretty easy and clear decision for us. We are thrilled!

We will call our second girl MJ for now. Actually, Audie and MJ are forms/abreviations of their African names. Because they have had their names for 5-6 years, we are not going to change their names to the two names we had picked out. We will probably talk to them about it when they get here (through an interpreter!) to involve them in the discussion. I would love to have them keep their African names and call them Audie and MJ. I love these names!

We are still waiting on the referral of a younger boy.

Our timeline hasn't really changed since we accepted the girls' referrals. I'm going to ask our social worker tomorrow, but I would guess they could come sometime around December or January, like we have been thinking.

Great News!

My Thailand background check has been received by our social worker!!

Thank you, Jesus!

Our social worker said she will add it into our home study over the weekend and then our home study will be complete! This means we can now send in our next set of paperwork (I-600a), apply for a grant and keep moving forward in the process. I am so thankful to be able to move ahead!

In other good news, there are only seven more days we have to wait until we get to see Leti!