Domestic Adoption Resource

I want to share with you a great organization doing domestic adoptions in case anyone is interested. If we were wanting to adopt a newborn baby domestically, this is probably the "agency" we would use. Although Christian Adoption Consultants is not an agency. Tracie Loux is a consultant who works with many different adoption agencies (often in states that have good adoption laws, meaning less waiting time to terminate parental rights). This allows the adoption process to go pretty quickly.

You can subscribe to her blog and receive their current available situations (I posted the most recent below). Every time I get these, it makes me want to adopt one of these babies!! Clearly, that is not happening anytime in the near future.

You can also email her and she will send you more information about how the process works.

Updated Available Situations

FEBRUARY 3, 2011

by tracieloux

AA, Gender Unknown, Due March 15th (UT), 17K plus medical (5-7K)

AA, Gender Unknown, Due March 23rd (OH), 17K plus legals of 6K

AA, Gender Unknown, Due April 6th (UT), 17K plus medical (5-7K)

AA, Boy, Due April 6th (UT), 17K plus medical (5-7K)

CC, Boy, Due March 1st, 30.5K plus medical

CC, Boy, due late Feb, 37.5K

These situations are representative of the situation available to our clients from the agencies we work with. This is a partial list and changes frequently.

If you have any further questions please feel free to email me at tracie@christianadoptionconsultants.com

Adoption Quote

My friend, Sarah Vint, passed this quote onto me from an adoption story she read. A mom who placed her baby for adoption said,

"Adoption is never about feeling good. It's about choosing something that nearly kills you for the betterment of someone else's life."

That, my friends, is The Gospel!

Domestic Adoption: Orphan or Not?

I follow a blog of a family with adopted and biological kids called Joining the Journey. I thought a recent post I read by the mother should be repeated. Here it is:

Right from the beginning, I am going to give the disclaimer that I am not an expert on this subject. The past few weeks I have had quite a few emails regarding domestic adoptions. I am VERY PASSIONATE about these babies and their birthmothers. Abortion is RAMPANT here in the US. It is an easy "out," for some women but for some, is their only option (so they think). African American children are the last children to be adopted. With both of our domestic adoptions, we were our birthmothers only options.

I have journeyed through two domestic adoptions. They were both TOTALLY different. (kinda like pregnancies, no two are alike) I have had positive responses like "I am so glad that you have children from the US, we have so many kids over here that need families and everybody keeps going overseas!!" Then there are negative responses like " are these children REALLY orphans? I mean, they have a mother, they are not sitting in an orphanage with no one to love them...they are in America, they are not going to starve to death, and not receive the medical care that is needed."

I've been walking with a friend through a domestic adoption. The social worker calls and says "we would like to show your profile to a birth mom.....here is her story..." Then, YOU decide if you want your profile to be shown....the struggle starts. Do we show it? Are we open to STD's? marijuana? cigarettes? alcohol? and the list goes on....and then you start feeling like you are "playing God." we WILL do this, we WON'T do that, we are open to this.....The grandparents start sharing about how they are concerned about the heartache that the adoption will bring. They ask: "What about the birthparents medical history? what if they have had mental illness?"

Well, if you do an international adoption...do you know any of those details? NO! But for some reason, it is safer in people's minds. [Jen's note: this has not been my experience.] Perhaps what you don't know won't hurt you? How do you "classify" an orphan? The definitions of the word orphan vary from 1)a child who has lost both parents 2)someone who lacks care, or support or supervision 3) a fatherless child.

At the end of the day, in domestic adoption, there is a single woman (typically) who cannot care for her child. IT IS A TRAGEDY. Regardless of your circumstances, there is not ONE single part of a mother's heart that wants to hand the child that she has been carrying for nine months to someone else to love. Often, after laboring and delivering these babies, these girls feel a love for these babies that they HAVE NEVER KNOWN or FELT in their entire lives, just to do the most sacrificial act, give them away, so that they can have a better life than they could ever offer. Even the children that are created from the act of rape. After carrying these babies for nine months, the mothers have so much love for them.

I have a whole new perspective of these ladies that make an adoption plan after walking through the process alongside them. I pray for all three of my children's birth mom's EACH AND EVERY day and I thank my sweet Jesus for those women. I will never forget the first time that I was handed Joshua and the mom walked away. I literally fell in a slump over him and wept until I could hardly breathe. I felt as though my heart had been plucked straight from my chest. My heart THROBBED on her behalf. It was THE MOST life changing moment of my life and I have NEVER been the same since....

If there wasn't domestic adoption, we would have to have orphanages in the US. We would be so overwhelmed in our foster systems. If there wasn't this option for many of these mothers, we would find many more children left in dumpsters or they would try to parent them and who knows what the the future of these children would be. Abortion would be even MORE rampant. So, I am asked regularly "where is the largest need?" Hhhhhmmm...everywhere, there are hundreds of millions of needs.

Do we really think that our sweet Savior is sitting on his throne picking and choosing which child we should love because one is more in need than the other? Do we really think that if we bring a child into our home through domestic OR international that one might be where we are NOT "called" and if we bring one home from the wrong place that we will not be in His will and be sinning against Him? Sometimes I think that He just sits up there on that throne and just shakes his head thinking "THEY ARE MISSING IT!!!!" I just want you to love each other. It is so simple....LOVE ONE ANOTHER. We spend so much time thinking about WHAT we should do, instead of actually putting it to action.

I have done domestic adoption and international adoption. I would choose them BOTH again, again, and again. I would choose an HIV+ child again , again, and again.

We Are Counting Down the Days

Not until our adoption.

Not until the end of summer (heavens, no!).

Not until Christmas.

We are counting down the days until . . .

a

very

special

person

comes

to

visit

us

on

Labor

Day

Weekend

*

*

*

That's right! Our little monkey's Tia Leti is coming to visit us from Texas.

I am so incredibly thrilled I can hardly stand it!!

I have found myself often watching Abram do something cute or looking at his funny faces through my rear-view mirror in the car and thought, "I can't wait until Leti gets to see him do that."

Oh, it will be so wonderful to see her!

A Year Ago Today . . .

We brought Abram home to Iowa! It was one of my favorite days in all of my life so far - sharing our precious gift with our family and friends. Our little monkey then . . . And now!
"Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare." (Psalm 40:5)

Our Seatbelts Are Strapped On

. . . because we have officially started the adoption process again!

We met with our social worker a few weeks ago to update our homestudy (homestudies are only good for one year). We are doing this adoption with The Avalon Center, in Mason City, Iowa. Leah, (from the Avalon Center) did our home study for our last adoption. While working with her, we learned that her agency also does adoptions. And it is a fairly simple process.

We LOVED, LOVED, LOVED Abrazo, the agency in Texas we used the first time. And we would still highly recommend Abrazo to anyone. But we have chosen to go with Avalon this time for a few reasons:

1. Avalon is $10,000 cheaper!

2. Besides paying for our homestudy update now, the full cost of the adoption is not due until a baby is placed with us.

3. We LOVE Leah! She has been the best social worker we could ever ask for. She is very timely with paperwork, very helpful, always available and willing to help with anything we need. She already knows us well so it made the homestudy update and paperwork for this adoption easy-peasy. 'Easy' and 'adoption paperwork' rarely go together in the world of adoption, but I'm not kidding when I say it has been easy so far.

4. While we loved traveling to Texas to get Abram, going with Avalon means we'll adopt a baby from Iowa (or possibly a surrounding state). This cuts down on cost, not to mention time, as well.
5. Overall, going with Avalon is just a lot lower maintence than Abrazo. There is no orientation to attend, no traveling, no staying in Texas for two weeks after we have a baby, etc.

I have already made a new family profile photo album for Avalon and we've already given our three copies to Leah. She will start showing them to birth moms right away. Can you believe that? Like I said before, going with Avalon is low-maintence and easy!

Easy, however, is definitely not how I'm expecting the emotional journey of this adoption to go. This is adoption we are talking about. Which is why I've got my seat belt strapped on! I know there will be a roller coaster (or two or three) involved sooner or later.

Our preference is to adopt a Hispanic or minority baby, but we are not limiting ourselves (or God!) to that. We want what God wants for us. And obviously, Iowa is not quite as racially diverse as a place like San Antonio, Texas. We look forward to what God has in store for us!