Last Sunday (October 28th) marked our ONE YEAR mark with our African kids! We were out of town over the weekend for a family wedding so that was part of our celebration. After thinking about the craziest year of our lives and making it to the one year mark, I decided to celebrate all week long last week!
What an incredibly different family we are one year later!
TO GOD BE THE GLORY FOR ALL HE HAS DONE IN US, FOR US, WITH US, THROUGH US AND IN SPITE OF US.
I'm a little late blogging about the big one year, partly because we were out of town and partly because all last week I was processing all that it means to have made it to the one year mark. At first, I almost didn't want to think back on the year. It was by far the hardest year of my life and in many ways, I didn't want to relive some of it. But, it was also the most WORTH IT year of my life and God did SO MUCH. I'm really glad I blogged a lot when they came home so I can read what happened and remember the details. Otherwise, it would be impossible to remember much of what happened. It is like a decade worth of life happened in just one year. In fact, my friend Jill (who walked very closely with me through this last year) said, "in some ways it seems like they have been home for a year and in other ways, it seems like they have been here for TEN YEARS." She was right on.
Last Monday I decided I would work on a photo album for the kids all week (if I don't do it now, I can't see when it might ever get done!). It has been good to go back and look at all the pictures from when the kids came home and talk to them about it. The girls haven't had too much to say about it. Claire said she was surprised to see all the people at the airport because she thought the escort would bring them all the way to our house. :) Isaiah was such a baby when he came. I feel like he has grown up three years worth (which is probably true, emotionally).
Last week I also decided to read each corresponding day from last year on my blog as I go along in the next weeks (today I read what I blogged on November 5th last year, etc.). Reading things like, "I saw Claire first (at the airport) and her eyes lit up when she saw me. She came right toward me to give me a hug," is something I do not remember, but it so fun to think about now that I really know her. Of course her eyes lit up - that is Claire! I didn't remember that Claire and Abram were buddies so soon at the restaurant and he asked to sit by her. I could go on and on! I'm trying not to cringe too much at the many things I said were good to do that I would not do if I had new kids placed with us now. :) But, hindsight is 20/20, right? All the reading in the world could never prepare you for adding three kids (two being older) to your family when you have only had a two year old.
I've realized half of the incredible difficulty of the past year was not having a routine of life for older kids that our girls could jump into. Trying to make up our daily routine, figure out expectations, decide how we wanted our kids to act at the table and every other thing that usually becomes part of your family DNA over time - all at once - was a huge challenging factor (having nothing to do with adoption issues). I'm very glad to be over that hump.
Another thing I have thought about is that "Gotcha" Day is just not the word to use to describe and celebrate the day our kids came into our family. I have no problem with other people using this word (and don't worry if you said it to me!). If you have been reading my blog, you know my kids have each struggled in HUGE ways adjusting to our family. In many ways their coming into our family has not been a happy thing for them. While we are so thankful (beyond words) that Claire, Zoe and Isaiah are part of our family, their coming into our family TO THEM represents a TON of loss, grief and trauma. Some days even now, two of my kids are still trying to figure out if they are happy to have been "gotten" by us and be part of our family. Homecoming Day is a better way to describe it for our family.
And, I am very much praising God for the family that we are today. Just the fact that we feel like a REAL, TRUE FAMILY is an incredible blessing and evidence of God's work in all of us. He has done so much. My two favorite things about God in this last year: 1) Watching Him move mountains (healing my children), right in front of my face many, many times and 2) Seeing God come through for me EVERY time I needed Him to.
I'm so glad God has allowed me experience all of the ups and downs of this past year. The highs were HIGH and the lows were LOW. Hard as it was, I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. Watching three former orphans become your children, learn to love and be loved (or at least on their way), develop personalities and talents and abilities and begin to hunger for spiritual things has blessed my life in unbelievable ways. Not only are my kids completely different kids than they were a year ago, I am different person and a much different mom. God has used this last year to allow me to know Jesus more, depend on Him more and live on His Word more than ever before. I don't ever want that to stop!
