My Heart . . . In Other's Words

I have read two different blog posts in the past 24 hours that put into words nearly exactly what is going on in my world lately. I couldn't help but share them in case they could encourage others, too. The weight of the "tension" my daughter carries and all of the "not yets" are threatening to pull me under lately. I'm so thankful to be living as an adoptive mother in 2013 where other adoptive moms can mentor me from afar via the internet and be used of God to help me know how to keep on going. 

From Owlhaven:

Adopted children constantly live in the tension between the happiness of the adoptive-parent side of the story and the sadness that led them to be relinquished in the first place.  We as adoptive parents need to be aware of the tension that causes the child.  They’re carrying a lot.  The human body can’t hold it all.  It will be expressed somehow.


From Every Bitter Thing is Sweet (this post is word-for-word, in better words, what is going on in my heart at this moment):

And here she is again. Another of my days at risk of being absorbed into this vortex, I moan under my breath, feeling the weight of what’s not yet healed in her and all of its uncertainty.
-------
Their not yet isn’t a time to be tolerated, but one to be cherished. He is training your eyes to see Him and your heart to receive Him, right here in the utter weakness that threatens to reek of failure.

And if you can find Him here, His love just might pull a total-life takeover.

Praying for God to help me find Him in all of the "not yets" and "tension" that is carried around and frequently spills over.