Oh the Roller Coaster of Adoption

Two weeks ago, it was as if Jason and I got in a little roller coaster car. Only I think we forgot to put our seat belts on! We had quite the ride of highs and lows.

The week started with the two new pictures of our girls that my last blog post was about. Those pictures helped me take a few more steps down the road of loving these girls like my own (it is definitely a process . . . more on that later). In my last blog post I mentioned that we thought our 5 1/2 year old looked older than that. Sometime on Tuesday we learned that she is not 5 1/2, but 7 years old. SEVEN. We thought we wanted 3 and 4 year old girls. Then we thought we were adopting 5 1/2 and 6 year old girls. We are now adopting 6 and 7 year old girls. Welcome to the world of adoption!

Seeing 7 years old was a shock initally, but I am really okay with it. By now these are our girls, so it doesn't matter how old they are or what illnesses they might have, etc. (they both received good reports of health by the way).

On Wednesday night, out-of-the-blue, I had the first-ever panic attack of my life. I didn't know what was going on at the time, but it was terribly frightening. I now know it was a gigantic arrow from the evil one.

On Friday I reached the end of my rope regarding an issue that is holding up our home study. About three weeks ago we learned that in addition to the background check I already had processed and received from Thailand, I now may also need a child abuse registry check from Thailand. (Why we were not informed to have this done along with the background check remains to be learned and is very frustrating). Today - a week and a half later - there is still no resolution on the matter. I'll spare you the details. But, it has been incredibly frustrating to say the least.

A few weeks ago I remember quoting myself saying, "God knows exactly when our kids are coming home and nothing that happens during the paperwork of adoption will change that." Those words were easy to say four weeks ago. They have been very difficult to believe the past two weeks. But, I am trusting that God can take care of my Thailand issue in 10 seconds from now if He wanted. We are waiting on Him.

On Saturday our little roller coaster ride climbed to new heights. First, in the morning we received some detailed information about our girls' history. We were not expecting to get any information like this so we were very surprised. The information is a priceless treasure. While it is heartbreaking to read, knowing more specific details about their abandonment, how long they have been in the orphanage, school, etc. REALLY helped this whole thing to feel more real and it helped us feel more connected to the girls. I won't say much about their history, but I will say that they were definitely old enough to remember their abandonment and that has been very heavy on my heart lately. Oh, the pain they must feel. We also learned that they have been in school for the past few years, which is encouraging.

One of our girls said (to our agency's social worker) that she knows she has a family in the US and she wants to join them soon. How SWEET is that??!!

Knowing that we are now going to have six and seven year old girls now, Jason and I talked a lot that Saturday morning/afternoon on a drive to Pella and back about what age of little boy we should ask for. Should we specifically ask for an infant, a boy Abram's age or let God just give us what He is going to give us? Sometimes this whole "getting to decide the age-thing" is overwhelming. We originally said between 0-2, but we also weren't expecting to have to homeschool two girls so soon. We didn't really come to a conclusion during our drive.

When we got home from Pella there was an email in my inbox with a picture of a two year old boy, saying he was available for adoption and would we like to adopt him. It was as if God said, "Here you go. I'll make this easy for you. Here is your boy!" He is now our boy and we are naming him Isaiah. He has big, beautiful eyes like his brother, Abram. God has been so faithful every step of the way to show us His direction.

Saturday night, however, the roller coaster ride took another dive. All of a sudden (AGAIN) Jason couldn't see out of part of his right eye. Again it was quite frightening for both of us. We called an eye doctor, Jason did some exercises and it seems to get better. Another arrow from the enemy.

That Saturday night it became clear that the enemy of our faith is out to get us. He is not happy that God is rescuing three orphans through the Lee family. At that point I was absolutely and completely emotionally wiped out. The week's overwhelming highs and lows and frustrations had did me in. I had to just go to bed. I couldn't function.

I'm so thankful God's mercy is new every morning.

I share all of this to keep our adoption journey real. I have heard other adoptive families talk about the spiritual warfare that begins to take place when they start to adopt and I guess we are now experiencing it for ourselves. By the grace of God we will continue to press on to bring these orphans home to their forever family. We are weak and cannot do it, but Jesus can. We are relying on Him.

Update on our Girls

There is nothing super significant to report, other than we got two new pictures of the girls yesterday. It was so good to see them in the context of doing something, rather than just the head-shots that we've received.

The in-country staff attorney took some of the kids who are in the process of being adopted on a little trip to the C River. What a blessing for them that they got to do that. I doubt they ever get to do things like that. And do you know what else is great about that trip? Our good friends' (Bobby & Maria Scott) little boy was also on the trip! That means that our kids are getting to spend time together already, most likely not realizing they will get to be friends (or at least see a familar face) once they are adopted. God is so good!

We've had a hunch that our 5 1/2 year old (Audie) is probably older than that. These new pictures confirm that. But, we are fine with whatever the staff in country deem as her age.

We were able to send a package to the girls last week. (One of the in-country staff is escorting a child/children to the states who is being adopted and will take our package back to the girls.)

It was so fun to go shopping for things for their package. It made me finally start to feel like they are my children and I am their mom. Something about buying underwear does that! I loved it! We weren't given any parameters about what to send other than to be sure to send a photo album.

Here is what I sent:
I had to guess on sizes, but bought size 6 clothes and the same size of flip-flops as Mya wears. I also got them each a coloring book that came with a few crayons and a very small baby doll. Believe it or not, Target had these dolls in the caucasion version and in the slighty darker-skinned version. They aren't black by any means (they are more like hispanic dolls!), but they will do for now.

And, of course, we sent photo albums. Oh, those photo albums took me some time to make. But, in the end it was worth it. I ended up doing Shutterfly albums (thanks to Janel Sullivan's advice) because I needed to be able to organize the pictures in a way the girls would understand who is who. Then, Jill gave me a genius idea . . . to translate the text I typed into French (the language they speak). So, I put all the captions in English and French. I doubt the girls can read French, but at least now there is a chance someone around them can read it to them in French. Every day I wonder what they are going to think when they get those photo albums. I have been praying they would be filled (to some extent) with hope/anticipation/excitement about being adopted.

Here they are, ready to be mailed (I intentionally blurred out the names).
I have also been working on getting the girls' room ready (putting pictures of their room in their photo albums motivated me). It has been so much fun.

I got these two chairs at the Iowa State Surplus sale (every Wednesday from 12:00-3:00p by Ag Leader) for $5 each. They are very solid, nice chairs and just the girls's size.

This past weekend I sanded and painted them. I have a new love for Rust-0-leum spray paint. That stuff is awesome! It is very easy to apply, not sticky and very, very durable. Say goodbye to painting furniture with a brush.

Here they are in the girls' room.

Their bunk beds. I found the bedspreads at Younkers this summer and fell in love with them. Bunk beds from Homemakers on sale, lamp from Mya and Sydney, night stand from Craigslist, curtains the perfect color on clearance at Target. I have had fun spending my hard-earned painting money (from two big painting jobs in July/August).

I painted the walls the light teal color from the bedspreads.

My favorite find was this mirror. I got it at Goodwill for $5 and painted it the same glossy white as the chairs. I found the "Love" at Pier One ($4) and spray-painted it the same color (hammered metal) as the dresser pulls. The candlesticks are from Goodwill . The dresser is from Craigslist (it was already painted white).This is all they will have for a closet, so I turned it into somewhat of a second dresser (I guess we won't be hanging any clothes). I bought a step stool so they could climb up and reach. Most stores this summer (Target, Walmart, Lowes) had all of their organization bins in the same cranberry color as the bedspreads. What luck for me! Even their laundry basket matches.

I had plans for putting things on the wall. But, I read a very informative blog post that gave advice about adopting older kids. One thing a couple moms with experience said is to keep things at home as simple and decluttered as possible. It is just too overwhelming for kids who have only seen dirt and concrete all their lives. For that reason, I am going to put a curtain over their closet door frame to hide the organized, but busy look. And I'll put the cute little candlesticks away. After the girls get somewhat adjusted, it will be fun to have them help me put decorations on their walls.

Training

Three weeks since I last blogged . . . wow!

It is not because we have had more going on in our lives than normal. Rather, I have started training. Training for life with three adopted kids who will need a ton of attention and a toddler. I've known that I need to start putting the things in place in my life now that I'm going to need - or not need - when our life is drastically altered by three kids from Africa. Thanks to much grace from the Lord, it is beginning to happen now.

The reason I've felt this is so necessary is that I am a TERRIBLE transitioner. I always have been and I don't see that changing. If I wait until the kids come to better plan and prepare meals, exercise at 5:00a (going to be my only option), not read as many blogs, prioritize my time better, research as much as I can about attachment issues and other adoption issues, finish a few projects around the house, I will be a W.R.E.C.K! Not that I'm not expecting a good number of train wrecks as we get adjusted to the craziness of four kids, but I thought I'd at least try to keep the number down.

I have been thinking about and processing so many things as it relates to adopting two six year olds (after seeing a couple more pictures of our 5 1/2 year old, she is definitely older than that!). Hopefully I can share some of that in a later post.

For now, here are some things we did the past three weeks.

My mom turned 60 on September 17 and we did this:
We had such a wonderful time! I'm looking forward to two cute little brown faces to join the party next time!After we got back from Galena, a very good friend of mine from Thailand, Toon, came to stay with us for a week. It was so great to see her!Then, we celebrated someone's girlfriend's first birthday. Praise the Lord for Jaida's life and wonderful family! Lots of this.A new favorite spot.

Another new favorite spot. The Target parking lot. There is a building going up at the far end of the parking lot and there are a lot of "diggers" (just like his favorite book). So, we park at the far end and watch. Abram also loves the shopping cart areas.

Plenty of time with the cousins.

Hangin' with daddy.

He can't get enough of books.

Project: Apple Tree

We have always thought this apple tree in our back yard was a nuisance. Until I came home from the apple orchard last year with a huge bag of apples to peel and core for the freezer and realized I could have saved my bucks. I determined then that I would use the apples from our tree this year.

After some looking, I finally found an apple picker at Theisens, on sale for $10, with an extension pole. A great find!

So, we've been picking apples.

And peeling and coring apples. (This apple peeler/corer is INCREDIBLE! I got it at the Williamsburg kitchen outlet store on sale for $10. It works so well and saves a TON of time!)

I have to admit that my mom has done most of the apple labor. She is our new roommate (until her and her husband can sell their house in Washington, Iowa and he can get a job). It is so wonderful having her around!

She had lots of help on this day. Gotta love Greysen getting caught sticking his finger in the sugar!

Sydney helped mom so much that she is able to use that thing herself!

So far I have several gallons of applesause in the freezer. People were not kidding when they said homemade applesause is so much better than the store-bought kind. Definitely! Applesauce is my plan for most of the apples at this point. Although Jason would like to see some apple pies in his future.