But, I am grateful for that. Because many days, if not every day, I still look at Abram through the lens - created by the wounds, I am sure - of what it was like to not have a child. And it makes me so incredibly aware of what a gift he is and what a gift it is to be a full-time mom.
Lately when I see all the fun and adorable things Abram does as an 18 month old, I have been thinking about how these are things I dreamed of - and had to grieve - three and four years ago. When you are in the dark valley of infertility it isn't just a newborn baby you long for and dream of.
It is THIS:
And THIS:
Watching the garbage trucks drive by 5-6 times every Monday morning.And THIS:
Driving his sippy cup in his dump truck!
Driving his sippy cup in his dump truck!And THIS:
Taking everything he can reach out of the refrigerator while I made dinner.
And then climbing all the way in the frig!
And lastly, THIS:
A sweet, sleeping baby boy.
Taking everything he can reach out of the refrigerator while I made dinner.And then climbing all the way in the frig!And lastly, THIS:
A sweet, sleeping baby boy. GOD IS FAITHFUL!
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3
2 comments:
Looking at these pics of Abram made me smile, and makes me realize just how much I miss you guys!
~Liz
Jen, I am so sorry for you and all other women who struggle with infertility. Already through our adoption journey, God has begun to cause my heart to grieve for so many who face this. HOWEVER, He is also graciously showing me how to encourage many through adoption. I gave birth to 3 children who grew in my belly and now, through God's love and goodness, I will "give birth" to 2 children who are growing in my heart. Love you.
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