More Prayer for the Klausers

Here is the latest update from the Klausers two nights ago (it took me awhile to post it since I was working on what is below). Thank you for praying . . . God is moving! Please keep praying.

Many people have asked me to help explain how it can be that a birth mom could take a baby back after he has been with an adoptive family for two months. Believe me, I have been trying to figure it out, as I have been FURIOUS about this situation. I am not an expert, but from my own experience, looking into Minnesota adoption law and emailing my social worker, here is my stab at it.

- After a baby is born in any state, there is typically a waiting period of 24-72 hours (exact time varies by state: Texas is 48 hours, Minnesota is 48 hours, Iowa is 72 hours . . . Rhode Island is 15 DAYS - had to throw RI in there because it is crazy!) in which the birth parent(s) cannnot sign a consent to terminate parental rights. The purpose of this waiting period is to give a birth mom time to recover from labor and delivery and then be able make a decision when she is fully recovered.

- Once the initial waiting time is over, a social worker from the agency will visit the birth parent(s) and ask if she/they are ready to sign the consent to terminate parental rights. Most birth parent(s) sign the papers at this point. When we adopted Abram, his birth mom signed the papers at this point, shortly after the 48-hour mark.

- Many states' law ALSO includes a time period, after terminating parental rights, where the birth mom can change her mind. In Iowa this time period is 96 hours. In Minnesota, it is 10 days. In Texas, there is no time period in which the birth mom can change her mind; once she signs, that is it, the adoption is complete (definitely a blessing for us!). In the case of our friends in Minnesota, even if the birth mom terminates her rights, she will still have 10 business days to change her mind before the adoption is complete.

- What if the birth mom doesn't sign the consent right away? There are several different scenarios:

1) The birth parent(s) may decide to parent and at this point would take the baby home from the hospital with her/them.

2) The birth mom/parents may want more time with her baby before terminating her rights. Abrazo (the first agency we used) encouraged us to definitely give the birth mom that time. Don't pull back away from her; love her and give her that time - it may be the only time she has with her baby.

3) This "extra time" a birth mom may want before having to sign the papers is the tricky issue because she could just keep on taking "extra time." So, some states have laws to give birth moms a time frame in which she HAS to sign or chose to parent. That is what is going on in Minnesota. The Klauser's birth mom could have signed the papers after the initial 72 hour mark but she did not, she wanted more time to think about it. In Minnesota birth moms have 60 days to decide whether to terminate rights or parent. In Texas the time frame is 7 days and in Iowa this extra time frame is not given by law. On one hand, it makes sense to give a "cut-off" time for a birth mom to make a decision. I am absolutely pro-birth-mom-rights. And I understand that she might need some time to think it over. But, 60 days seems like a LONG time to have it drag out - TOO LONG! In my opinion early on in this 60-day period a birth mom should be receiving good counseling from the agency to help her make a decision soon - for the benefit of everyone involved. The other thing that is tricky about this wait time is that from my experience with Abrazo, they would RARELY let a baby go home with an adoptive family if the birth mom has not signed the consent. Their purpose in this is to protect the adoptive family from what the Klausers are dealing with. However, Texas also doesn't have the 60-day period for a birth mom to decide. This leads to the fourth scenario.

4) If the birth mom is not ready to sign papers at the time of hospital discharge the baby can go to foster care. Most agencies have good, licensed foster families available for this situation. But, understandably birth moms may not like this option and further, a family who has been matched with a birth mom for many months would rather take the baby home - even if the birth mom is unsure - than have it go to a third party (foster family).

- The finalization of an adoption is the last step to complete an adoption. But it is more of a formality than anything. For an adoption to be finalized in Iowa, a baby (or child because it works the same for foster care) must be in a family's home for 180 days (6 months). During that time the social worker will come for 1-3 more visits to check to see how things are going. Once it is confirmed through these reports that the child and family are doing well and six months have passed, the adoption can be legally finalized - this takes place in front of a judge in court. For us, that meant we had to go back to Texas and finalize before a judge in that state since that is where Abram was born. This varies by state. This six-month waiting period is not a time where the birth mom can choose to take the baby back. Not at all. The state is just making sure that you are fit to parent this child. Only things like abuse or neglect could cause the adoption to not be finalized at that point.

If you made it this far in reading, way to go! That was a lot of jargon to read. Hopefully that helps explain things and doesn't confuse you even more. Post any questions if you have them.