This past weekend was the big July/August family birthday party celebration for Zoe, Claire and two of my sister's kids, Brady and Sydney. Jason's dad from Texas came Friday at noon, along with his mom and Grandma (who had not yet met our new kids). The actual birthday party was at our house on Saturday. But we started celebrating early at my sister's house the night before.
All of the guys out on the deck at Kate's house.
The four girls came upstairs at one point having been playing "dress up." See the super cute red dress Claire is wearing?
With the big birthday party weekend, Jason and I fully expected Zoe to struggle. And, it happened. Since Sunday we have had lots and lots of control and manipulation going on. And man! As much as I knew to expect it, I have such a hard time adjusting back to the mode of parenting needed for RAD behavior. I am so thankful for the four really good weeks we had in July. Wow, they were so wonderful. But, boy, they make the going back to RAD-parenting seem even harder. On Monday, I asked God if this could please be the last time we have to go backward before she is healed and attached. (While I know God can do anything, I know this is probably not realistic). I honestly didn't know if I could manage it much longer. I had such a hard time getting my heart to fully trust that God is in control - even when the behavior was so crazy and pushed every single last button I have.
Thankfully, by the grace of God, after three days, I am finally in the mental, emotional and spiritual place I need to be to effectively deal with the RAD behavior (because really the issues those three days were just as much with ME). Translated, this means I am completely helpless and need Jesus to help me every step of the way. It means I trust that God IS in control and I believe with my whole heart that He IS working everything I see with my eyes for our good and His glory. It means He WILL give me everything I need for life and godliness (i.e. parenting this behavior). It means I believe God is for me and that He is fighting this battle. It means I pray a lot more for my daughter's healing and attachment.
I am in my own attachment and trust dance with my Creator, have you noticed this? Self-sufficiency is one of my sinful tendencies and it creeps in ever so slightly, but grows and grows until God has to lovingly take away my control and help me trust Him fully again and depend on His Word alone. It is so similar to parenting my daughter.
2 comments:
Jen
I so very very much understand what you are saying about Being a parent and dealing with RAD behavior. When we added to kids both out of foster care to our family the same spring, about 6 months in, I felt that I did not have a clue of how to parent, even though we had 4 older kids. One day while I was reading my Bible and prayering, God let me see all the ALL verses in the Bible and that small word, ALL, helped and encouages me to this day. When you read, be on the look-out for verses with the word all in them and how it makes God's promises so much more awesome and clear. Thanks for what you and your husband are doing!! Praise God!!
Jen
I so very very much understand what you are saying about Being a parent and dealing with RAD behavior. When we added to kids both out of foster care to our family the same spring, about 6 months in, I felt that I did not have a clue of how to parent, even though we had 4 older kids. One day while I was reading my Bible and prayering, God let me see all the ALL verses in the Bible and that small word, ALL, helped and encouages me to this day. When you read, be on the look-out for verses with the word all in them and how it makes God's promises so much more awesome and clear. Thanks for what you and your husband are doing!! Praise God!!
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