Today I'm Thankful For

Green grass on the ground

Sunshine all day long

Incredibly beautiful weather

Getting to go for a run

Smiles from little boys on swings

A wonderful husband, who is a great dad

Two girls who call me, 'Mom'

A simple Thanksgiving meal with Mom and Ed

Family and friends who gave money so three orphans could have a family

A wonderful, generous church that enabled three orphans to have a family

The body of Christ (both locally and not so locally) who continue to serve us, love us and pray for us

Family and friends who are willing to sacrifice and not see us much for months so our kids can attach to us

The privilege of getting to celebrate Thanksgiving differently this year because we just adopted three kids

Our God whose love is unfailing

November 23, 2011

The day before Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite days. I love the anticipation of celebrating this holiday and the preparation that comes with it. I have been a little sad over the past few days that this year’s holidays will be so different, but today has been a good day and “feels” like the day before Thanksgiving a little bit, so I am thankful for that. Mom and Ed are going to come over for a short time tomorrow and eat with us. Mom is making a few things and I am making a few things (yes, we will be having rice for Thanksgiving this year!). I am planning to make sweet potato rolls and a pumpkin pie. Last night I decided I’m also going to make a French silk pie (my personal favorite) which will help make it feel like a special day.

Last night we tried explaining to the kids that tomorrow is a holiday (looked HOLIDAY up in the Lingala dictionary). We told them they could watch TV (the Macy’s Parade), which got cheers. Today when I took them to the grocery store, I let them get some Orange Fanta to drink tomorrow. Every country that I have ever been in has Fanta (several flavors) and I heard them talking about Fanta the other day. They were excited! This all has helped make it feel like a holiday for me in this new life.

So, yes, I took all four kids to the grocery store and it went quite well . . . except when they all four wanted in/on the cart and I physically couldn’t move it so the oldest had to get off. J The other three rode the whole time. I got quite the looks from other shoppers! I also had to run some other errands so I called a good friend that I haven’t gotten to talk to (or seen) in awhile while driving. I’m thankful for that time.

We ate lunch when we got home and then they were all dying to go outside. THANK YOU, LORD, FOR THE GORGEOUS WEATHER!! They wanted to go to our “old house.” The photo album we sent the kids after we were first matched with them, of course, had pictures of our old house. We have since driven by it and showed them the pictures so they now know what “old house” means. So, we did the parade-thing over to the old house (just a few blocks away) and then kept going, making a big loop around our neighborhood. I was feeling ambitious, I guess. We went where there were no sidewalks so it was a bit of a chore to teach and keep all the kids on the correct side of the road. Thankfully, no one got hit by a car. J Claire Muad is really riding her bike now – it is so fun to see the huge, carefree smile on her face when she is riding it. When she passes me, she’ll say, “bye!” in a cute way as she rides off. I’m sure it has boosted her confidence to be able to learn and be competent in a new thing in this new world of hers.

Abram practically asks to take his nap these days. J He gets worn out from all the chaos, I imagine. Isaiah is going down for rest time really well. Yesterday and just now he fell asleep on the bed after looking at books, even though I didn’t make him nap. And the girls did a baby step better moving to rest time today. I think it helped a lot that I told them at 3:00p they can get up (and showed them on their watches). One of them still gave me a little bit of a fit but has been where she needs to be for rest time.

Thankfully I am feeling pretty good today considering how my throat felt last night. I’ve lost part of my voice, but not bad. This morning after breakfast, the girls (without me asking) went to town cleaning their room. Claire Muad was all the way under her bed, retrieving everything under there. She then asked me for the vacuum (using motions of course). Zoe Mujinga then vacuumed the boys room and living room while I dusted quickly. Yesterday Zoe Mujinga swept and mopped the kitchen floor after breakfast and I decided post-breakfast time would be a good time of each week day to do a little cleaning (with the girls help). This is one thing I wanted/needed to add to the schedule this week and the girls totally did it without me even asking two days in a row. Definitely a blessing from God.

I guess this would be another thing to add to my “reasons why I’m thankful we adopted older girls.” I need to start that list because to be honest, I have been grieving (not in huge ways, but little ways here and there) as I process the ages of our girls and the things that happen – or don’t happen (often because of their ages) - on different days. My deepest confession is that I find myself sometimes thinking, “This is not the life I dreamed of or thought we would have.” Which throws me off because I thought I dealt with that already. You don’t say ‘yes’ to adopting 5.5 and 6 year old girls, plus a 2 (now 3) year old and expect your life to be what you always dreamed. I thought I traded in my dreams for God’s plans a long time ago. But, I’m realizing I had a picture in my mind of what adopting three kids, ages 3, 7 & 8, would look like and life doesn’t look like that. It feels like there are extra challenges with even older kids and no language. And I find myself being upset at God about that at times. God is creating a completely new life for us. Our new life will be an entirely different life/”normal.” AND I NEED TO LET GOD DO THAT. A friend who has adopted said it like this when she saw the picture of our family together for the first time:

I think I am feeling the emotion of it all - the months of the agonizing wait, and the months of painful loving ahead...living out the realities of broken pasts. And then the day that finally comes where everything feels 'normal' and you can't imagine life any other way.

We’re talking a year or two before we can really see what this new life is going to look like . . . which is okay. Clearly I need some time to adjust. J Not having biological kids is playing a surprising role that I did not expect as well. But, I don’t even want to get into that right now. I’m glad I at least found words for some of what I have been thinking lately. Last night I sat with Jason and just cried about all of this and I didn’t even know exactly what I was crying about. Now it is a little clearer.

So, to preach to myself, there is so much good and so much to be thankful for in adopting older kids – specifically the two girls that God has given us. The girls initiating cleaning would be one. Seeing Claire Muad proudly riding her bike with a huge smile is another. Watching them worship is my favorite.

Well, I have 35 minutes left until the girls can get up and I feel the need to start making my French silk pie in the quietness of my kitchen. Hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I can easily say all of you who read this blog (which makes me feel loved because you understand a bit of my new crazy world) and have supported us in countless ways are at the top of my list of things I’m thankful for this year.

November 22, 2011

Oh, beautiful rest time, how I love you! I started pushing back our rest time until 1:30 or so which gives less time between rest time and Jason getting home (the hardest time of the day). Today we put on our coats, went outside after lunch and headed for the park. This is the second day in a row I have walked the kids to one of the nearby parks by myself. We look like a circus - I'm not going to lie! Claire Muad is loving trying to ride her bike on her own, so she takes her bike (and I give her pushes when I can – she can ride but can’t get started 100% on her own yet). Zoe Mujinga, of course, is riding the little Diego plastic toddler trike – always out in front of the rest of us . . . and today she was wearing capris! Isaiah started off on the little scooter and Abram rode in a stroller – the boys switched off between the stroller and the scooter. We are never all together on the sidewalk – there is always a good distance between some of us, which even more so creates the circus/parade effect. The girls are good about stopping at the end of most of the streets and waiting to go until I can see them, so that is good. I’m just thankful that we can get outside for an hour or so – it is so good for all of us.

The morning was a normal, hard – but not terrible – morning. Lots of structure needing to be implemented (read: discipline). J I have been struggling to know what to do with the girls if they don’t obey and today I put one of the girls on the bench (in the same room that the rest of us were in) for five minutes. She was not being quiet like I asked, so I added two minutes to her time. She had to sit on the bench a second time and the other one had to do it once, too. It seemed to work pretty well, so I am thankful to have a starting point for consequences for disobedience (without using much language at all). I also had some good connection times with the girls. I straightened Claire Muad’s hair (in the back room) this morning while Zoe Mujinga did Rosetta Stone and the boys played. Later, while Claire Muad was doing Rosetta Stone, Zoe and I played badminton with a balloon and she loved it. Later in the afternoon the girls helped me cut apples and make applesauce (or "saucy apple" as one of the girls said!). Abram is starting to do better than the first few weeks – yay!

The girls have just started calling Isaiah, “Isaiah,” instead of Lee. They still call him Lee sometimes and every once in a while they call him Munanga. I also heard Zoe call Claire Muad, “Claire” for the first time this morning at breakfast. It is good to hear them call each other by the names we (or they) have given them(selves). I have been wondering when they would start making the transition. We’ll see if the transition has really started or if it was just a fluke.

While the girls still did not score very well on Rosetta Stone today, it was fun during lunch to hear them pointing out the “boys” and then them as the “girls” (which was part of the lesson) . . . so clearly they are learning a little! It is a totally different way of learning for them, I’m sure, so I imagine it will take some time for them to get the hang of it.

The afternoon included a battle with one of the girls. Needing to obey mom and trust me but not wanting to struck some very deep chords and caused a lot of tears and hiding (of the face). Though so painful to go through (for her even more so than for me I am sure), having those deep chords struck is good. I can only think that it means she is beginning to realize that she doesn’t have to be in control of herself anymore . . . she has a mom now to trust and who will care for her. But how scary . . . when former caretakers have left. I’ll say it again: Oh, the distress of a (former) orphan. I tried to “be” with her as much as I could and I prayed out loud for her while I was with her.

There are many other things I am thinking about and trying to process, but I’m too tired to try to get any of it out. And my throat is beginning to feel like knives are inhabiting it. So, I should go to bed. Thanks for continuing to pray for us.