Decompression

Yesterday morning at breakfast.Last night before bed (Abram had a little bit of a fever still).

Every hour there are about 20 things I wish I could write down that happen that either crack us up, feel like progress, are crazy or difficult, etc. Today was a day full of opportunities to connect, comfort, help, and bond. God is faithful . . . He is answering your and our prayers!

I’m needed to decompress so here comes a bunch of randomness from my brain (and no way do I have time to edit/proof-read it) . . .

Last night I had a break down because I felt like it was going to take forever to really connect and get through to the girls and be able to communicate with them. But, God helped me to see my problem . . . I don’t do very well living in the here and now. I am typically always looking back and reflecting or looking forward to figure out what needs to be done. Um, I have quickly learned this is not going to work. I have got to take it day by day, doing only what I can do today to connect with these kids and meet their needs and not try to figure out how this is all going to work in the future (hello?!). After figuring that out last night, today has gone MUCH better – praise the Lord. Zahra likes to play cards so I was able to play with her and have her teach me her game. I got out my old doll clothes and Zoe dressed up dolls and bears while Zahra went and got a comb and started combing the hair of the doll we gave her (Princess Tian). I showed her all of the hair stuff we have for them and the next thing I knew she was shampooing and hair lotioning her doll’s hair (in her room – oh well!). I told her to “show (I know that word in Lingala) Mom.” She then rinsed it out and got out the blow dryer and dried it. And repeated with the second doll. It was a great way to interact with them this morning. In the middle of all of this, I let Zoe to my hair, which ended up in a bunch of little pony tails. J

The girls got in a pretty bad spat which left one of them crying on the floor. This is where I hate not having language, but I just laid on the floor with her and rubbed her back and face while trying to look in her eyes. Here is the big praise of the day . . . both girls are allowing me to show them a lot of affection. PRAISE THE LORD. This is huge progress even from yesterday. And, I can tell they feel more relaxed and comfortable. Oh, what one day can do! The Neti Pot provided some good bonding . . . Zahra found the solution I use in it and of course, wondered what it was for. So, I showed the girls. We all laughed and laughed. Then, Zahra tried it herself and we spent more time laughing togheter. Zoe could sit in front of the radio and listen to songs at the loudest decibel all day long if we let her. And this girl knows how to dance, let me tell you! She is our crazy girl . . . loves to pester her little brother, Isaiah. Because they lived in foster care together, she knows just what to do to make him mad (like chasing him with her electric toothbrush for one).

The girls talk (in Lingala) a TON all day long. I think their learning English is going to be harder than I anticipated. I am probably going to have to make a concerted effort a lot earlier to teach it to them.

Speaking of little Isaiah - and I do mean little . . . he is so, so skinny and like a floppy wet noodle when I hold him. We are pretty sure he is three years old because of how much he talks and sings and his physical abilities, but he 2T clothes are too big on himi. He plays surprisingly well with Abram. I can tell he has been around other kids and because he shares WAY better than Abram ever did. They don’t usually fight over their toys, but they like to kick/hit/push each other, trying to interact with each other but not knowing how yet. But little Isaiah is a very sad little boy right now. I know he is missing all that he knew to be normal (foster mom, routine, bed, food, etc.). Around 2:30p he fell asleep out on the hammock with Zahra. I have noticed a few times he looks to her for comfort – which is great, but I know he needs to learn to seek that from me/us primarily. Jason brought him to me and when I laid him down, he woke up and did NOT want me to hold him or comfort him. He wanted Zahra. I had to make the hard decision to hold him instead. He cried for a while, but fell asleep in my arms (praise God). And then after his nap he only wanted me to hold him (from 4:30-7:00p). But, I was okay with that. I am totally getting my baby fix with this sweet boy. He is way more cuddly, pliable, willing to let me smother him with affection than Abram ever was. But, he is also very fragile and hurting right now – he cries so easily. The Wheelers brought us a meal and when they left Jason and Zoe stepped outside the front door to say bye and Isaiah collapsed onto the floor in tears because he thought they (probably Zoe) were/was leaving him. When he woke up from his nap he was crying, rocking himself back and forth – it broke my heart. But the good news is that he is now letting me comfort him and he melts into my body when I hold him hold him. . . big steps in bonding with him today. I honestly felt like I was caring for an infant today. But, that is exactly how it should be. You can tell he probably did not get this kind of rocking, holding, gazing into his eyes when he was a baby. And I am loved giving that to him today.

And Abram is doing so incredibly well (now that the seizure and subsequent fever is done). I can’ t believe how well he is doing (it is still only day two though!). I can tell he loves having a house busy with more people. He also has his dad every day so that probably helps. Let’s not even talk about what life is going to be like when Jason has to go back to work. Tonight at dinner Abram wanted to go sit between his sisters to eat dinner. Not only that, he wanted to have the same plates that they did. He also used a fork to put his food onto his spoon just like they do. It was really cute! Until he started pestering them with messing with their hair. Understandably, he is curious about it, but it is annoying to them when he pulls on their braids. So, we taught them to say, “no thanks.” I had no idea how wonderful this was until the girls starting pestering the boys at bed time and I said to them (in a very positive/playful tone), “no thanks.” AH-HAH!! It has been hard to deal with behavior issues without language to work with. But, this felt like a tiny little victory tonight!