Girls' Day

God gave me a wonderful gift yesterday . . . a road trip back home and an entire day with Kate and all four girls. 

When I first got the invitation to my cousin's baby shower, I was sure there was no way my girls and I could go. We were in the midst of major difficulty and we had decided to not go anywhere for quite awhile. (I still don't take the kids on any errands that they have to get out of the car for - to many opportunities for control and manipulation at this point.)

But, going on road trips with my sister is one of my FAVORITE things in the world to do. We used to do it a lot. You know, when all of our kids and the two of us fit in one big vehicle. We would have to rent a bus now to do that. Knowing that this is one of the only times in at least a year that just Kate and her girls would be making the trip back home, I prayed and talked to Jason about it. We decided if all went well in the days leading up to Saturday, the girls and I would go. I knew my girls being with Mya and Sydney would distract them from crazy behaviors for the most part. The cost would be one less day of therapeutic parenting at home (evidently the way we are parenting the girls to help them heal from their past and from RAD is called therapeutic parenting). 

After last Tuesday night's horrible and beautiful episode, we had a fairly good week. Holding to the firm boundary that night and providing more nurture lowered the control and manipulation from that daughter quite a bit the rest of the week (which was pretty cool to see, in itself). The control and manipulation wasn't CONSTANT like it had been previously. I know it helped that it was 70+ degrees everyday and we went to two parks per day. By Friday I felt confident about making the trip. Of course, I didn't tell my girls about the trip until 4:00p on Friday (we were leaving early Saturday morning). The girls and I had good bonding time picking out the clothes they would wear on Friday afternoon.

At the shower.

 How the girls entertained themselves (of course they took this picture).

Most of the people at the shower were women who have known Kate and I since before we were born. We've been back a number of times with Kate's kids. But, they all still asked, "Now which ones are yours and which ones are Katie's (we are Jenny and Katie back home - ha!)?" I so badly wanted to say, "Well, the white ones are Kate's and the black ones are mine." But I refrained!

Walking from the shower to our aunt and uncle's house.

The girls with my cousin, Kayla, who is pregnant. 

The girls sat right there and watched two movies while Kayla, Kate, my aunt Janell and I talked from 12:30-5:00p. It was such a wonderful blessing! My brother and other cousins were there for a bit and then my dad came over, too. 

Dad took us to dinner in Council Bluffs. The girls ran off all of their energy in the field next door. 

TJ Maxx happened to be right by where we ate, so we snuck in a little shopping before we headed back home with very sleepy girls.

I could not have asked for a better day. My girls did great. Of course they had a blast with Mya and Sydney. And there were even some signs of progress in the attachment department. No meltdowns or stubborn control episodes. Several times Zoe reached to hold my hand when we were out in public and Claire would look back to check in with me after she started walking away to go do something. Such little, "normal" things in most people's worlds. But big evidence that I am becoming the anchor for my girls' hearts and the one they are beginning to trust.

 PRAISE THE LORD!