Six Months Under Our Belt

Six months ago today we met our three African kids at Chicago's O'Hare Airport and welcomed them into our family. I was a frenzied mess while I waited for them to walk through the doors at any minute.  I was grateful for our kids to be coming home, but scared out of my mind for how this whole thing was going to go down. 

I was better once I saw them. 

I remember looking at my mom and some other family after starting to interact with the girls, taking a deep breath and saying, "wow, this language barrier is going to be a lot harder than I thought it would be."

We have come a LONG WAY since this photo. There, were were six people standing together for a picture.

Now, we are a family.

My primary thought today, on this milestone, is that I am so glad to have the first six months under our belt. I remember the language barrier and the awkwardness of trying to be "family" with two girls around 10 years old was intense and weird those first few weeks.  Meanwhile Isaiah had the emotional needs of an infant baby and Abram would not stop hitting him. Oh, the early days! We jumped on a giant roller coaster.   We have rode it down to indescribable difficulty many days. And then climbed up, up and up to unbelievable joy. And then down again. And then up. And then down. And up again. By God's grace we are still on the roller coaster, being upheld by His righteous right hand every second of every hour of every day.

This past week as I've been reflecting on the kids being home for six months, these are some things I have thought about:

- 182 days together as a family (plus two nights the kids spent at Mark and Kate's while we went away)
- 530 meals eaten, sitting together at our kitchen table
- Tons of laughter shared together during meal times
- Incredible amounts of rice, beans, chicken and salt consumed by our family
- Homemade pizza every Friday night
- About 180 naps for Isaiah
- Hundreds of hugs with each child
- Loads of eye contact with each of them (I look at Abram in the eyes more than I ever did before, too!)
- Rocking the girls each probably 60 times so far
- Girls playing outside almost every day since they have been home
- At least 75 trips to the park
- Lots and lots and LOTS of playing inside
- Many, many, many, many firm boundaries held
- Many spiritual battles fought for our kids' broken hearts
- Hundreds of prayers prayed for healing
- Wisdom prayed for daily like no other time in my life
- TONS of mistakes made
- Depending on Jesus more than ever before
- Witnessing God move mountains right before my eyes.
- Seeing God come through EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Just like He promised He would when we made the crazy decision to adopt three kids.

One thing is for sure: God has used these past six months to knit us together as a family. These kids are definitely my children. I know which child is coming down the hallway in the morning by the way they open their bedroom door. I know how each one of them like their eggs. Claire says, "my goodness," exactly the way that I do. Zoe says, "cool," just like I do when she likes something. I know what brings them joy and I have been with them in their deep despair. And even though they don't always feel 100% like my kids yet, I love them with a fierce kind of love. A love that longs for their broken hearts to be healed. A love that is committed to not letting them to themselves. A love that battles for their heart-strings to be attached this new mom God gave them. I am so grateful God has allowed me to be part of His plan to love these kids toward healing and attachment. While there have definitely been more hard days than easy days in these last six months, there is nothing I'd rather be doing than this. The joy and blessing of knowing Jesus more, depending on Him like never before and seeing Him work have made every bit of pain and heartache worth it.

Also, when I think of these past six months, I can't stop thinking about how thankful I am for a certain six friends/sister (you know who you are!). Friends who have been by my side through all the ups and downs of the past six months. Friends who continue to hang out with me even though all I do is talk about the latest crazy behavior or the amazing thing God just did in one of the kids. I've had very little to give to my friends these last six months and yet they still give to me, pray for me and are in this battle with me. It brings me to tears. Just being able to hang out with these friends (either at the park or on our Girls Nights Out or going to my sister's) has greatly contributed to any feelings of "normalcy" in this new life. I love you friends/sister!

These last few months I have been pretty tunnel-visioned, focused on the needs of our kids. But, today at lunch Isaiah said something that made me zoom out. He finished eating his left-over pizza from Friday night and told me with a big smile how big and full his "balloon" (belly) was. I couldn't help but think about his life before he came into our family and how his belly was never that full. Certainly not full enough to have a big smile and be very happy about it. I thanked God for the gift of Isaiah having a full tummy and a big smile on his face, happy to be loved by his mom and dad. And I stopped to think about kids right now who do not have a fully belly. Kids who don't have a mom to rock them and a dad to flip them over his back. Kids who don't have parents to be in control so they continue to survive on their own at such a young age. Kids who don't have a mom and dad to look them in the eyes and let them know they are precious and valuable.  Kids who don't have parents praying for their broken hearts to be healed.

Is God asking you to say YES to this journey?

It is not an easy road to take. But I can confidently say, six-months in, that it is WORTH IT!