December 2 & 3, 2011

“Some days I can’t get over the beauty hiding behind every corner of life with these four former orphans.”

I found this quote last night from this blog and it perfectly describes my heart the last two days as I have been reflecting on this past week. Even through the challenges, I have seen so much beauty in this new life. And it usually comes in the most mundane, simple moments of living.

Like when Isaiah was lying in bed with me yesterday morning and I started to hear, “asdlfadfa Migh-ty to Save, lasdflkdfl Migh-ty to Save” and continued unclear words to the tune of that song. It was the first time I’ve heard him sing in English on his own and it was BEAUTIFUL.

Like Wednesday, when on our drive to Huxley, I felt like I had the African Children’s Choir in the back of my van. All three kids were on the same song, but one of them was chanting, one was making background noises and one was singing the lyrics (in Lingala, of course!). It was so cool! BEAUTIFUL.

Like when we all got in the van to go to the grocery store yesterday morning (yes I managed another short trip to the store…successfully!) and Abram exclaimed, “Wadi (the way he says Muadi), are you ready?” (adorable in itself) and she replied . . . “set, go!” And then at the store Abram said something else to “Wadi.” As I tried to explain to her that he was saying her name but it comes out “Wadi,” she reached out and grabbed his hand in such a sweet, affectionate way. It was another link in the chain of forming a loving, brother-sister relationship. And it was BEAUTIFUL. (And franky, unbelievable if you saw their interactions the first few weeks.)

Hearing Claire say, “good job, mom” after dinner last night because she was trying to tell me she really liked that I made fish. A BEAUTIFUL moment.

Watching and listening to Zoe talk to Jason on the phone late yesterday afternoon. After saying, “Hi, Dad,” and laughing hysterically, she very excitedly and in a fast pace said, “dinner eh (and) movie eh fanta eh sprite eh copy corn” (a run-down of our evening events about to take place) and then with more laughter “mandesu (beans) big one” (because I let her buy the industrial size can of chili beans at the store!) and then, “Dad smile” (trying to say he was laughing). While watching her rattle all of this off to Jason, Claire and I were both dying laughing. And in the midst of our laughing together, Claire gave me the biggest hug she’s ever given me. It was the sweetest family moment I've experienced yet. So BEAUTIFUL!

There are so many others. Such a gift from God to be able to see the simple beauty in this new family He is knitting together. I am so grateful.

Jason’s work Christmas party was last night and I skipped out to be home with the kids. Since Jason was going to be gone, I arranged for Abram to go to Kate’s after lunch and have his first, official slumber party with Greysen! I had such an enjoyable time with my other three yesterday afternoon and evening. Jason’s being gone all day and night also explains why after dinner we watched a movie and had Fanta, Sprite and copy corn (one of my favorite Zoe-isms)! After the popcorn was made Zoe went to the back room and brought out the little toddler-sized table for them to each put their drinks and popcorn on and pulled up a little ottoman so Isaiah could have a seat. Meanwhile, Isaiah got out the popcorn bowls on his own initiative. This all seems so ridiculously simple but I can still clearly remember how awkward it all felt in the beginning, like we were managing three strangers. So to now see them functioning so comfortably and coming up with great ideas on their own was a sweet sight.

I’m telling you, it is all about the little things in my life right now! And I'm cherishing them all.

Part of what has been helping my perspective, besides the Word of God, is the book, “Kisses from Katie” that I am reading. Wow. You’ve got to read this book! Here are a few excerpts that have encouraged me:

“And even though I realize I cannot always mend or meet, I can enter in. I can enter into someone’s pain and sit with them and know. This is Jesus. Not that He apologizes for the hard and the hurt, but that He enters in, He comes with us to the hard places. And so I continue to enter in.” (23)

“Deep fulfillment had begun to swallow my every frustration.” (24)

“It was incredibly challenging and beautifully wonderful at the same time.” (62)

(For the record my “challenging” does not even begin to compare to her “challenging” – we’re talking on-different-planets-worth of difference.)

“By God’s grace, even in the hard moments, I know that the job of being a mother was what God had created my heart for.” (63)

“'Remember, God will never give you more than you can handle.' People repeat this frequently; I heard it when I was growing up and I hear it now. It is meant to be a source of encouragement, and it would be if I believed it were true. But I don’t. I believe that God totally, absolutely, intentionally gives us more than we can handle. Because this is when we surrender to Him a nd He takes over, proving Himself by doing the impossible in our lives . . . I have learned to accept it, even ask for it, this ‘more than I can handle.’ Because in these times, God shows himself victorious. He reminds me that all of this life requires more of Him and less of me. God does give us more than we can handle. Not maliciously, but intentionally, in love, that His glory may be displayed, that we may have no doubt of who is in control, that people may see His grace and faithfulness shining through our lives. As I surrender these situations to Him, watch Him take over and do the impossible, I am filled with joy and peace – so much more than I can handle.” (137)