My wonderful friend, Jill, sent me two blog posts in the last 24 hours that God has used to speak to my heart. Go is revealing to me - through these posts and His Word - that He has a lot of work to do in my heart, namely with my issue with fear. And He is using my kids' distress to do it. Here is the first post, specifically on fear. Here is an  excerpt from the second post:


There’s a God-Man on the other side of this discomfort, waiting to meet me. And the greatest lie keeping me from Him is the belief that if my circumstances (big or small) would change, I would find the freedom I crave.


He is what I crave.

The words "freedom" and "crave" hit me so deeply because a number of times the past two days, I have been craving/longing for the day that the girls are attached and past this behavior that is so unbelievably difficult for me to know how to handle. I have thought that once that happens, I will be free. Not free from parenting them, but free from the deep anxiety of parenting them with all of their post-adoption issues. Lie exposed. God is using my circumstances to draw me closer to Him so that come what may - attachment or even no attachment - He is all I crave. Whew. I've got a long way to go.

He continued speaking to me this morning in my Jesus Calling devotional:
You are on the right path. Listen more to Me, and less to your doubts. I am leading you along the way I designed just for you. Therefore, it is a lonely way, humanly speaking. But I go before you as well as alongside you, so you are never alone.


Peace flooded my soul.

I also meditated on 2 Peter 1:3-7 . . . His divine power has given me everything I need for life and godliness. I do not have to fear that I will not know how to respond to my kids' behavior. God has given me everything I need.
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