November 8, 2011

Forgot to post this picture last night from when Owen came on Sunday. Not the best pic, but it is fun to see them together.The boys at Target.
A friend helped me track down a ring sling to use to carry Isaiah since he wants carried by me a lot and I want to carry him for bonding but still need to do things around the house. I am LOVING it! I held him like this and put dishes in the dishwasher right after this picture was taken tonight. After the day that we had with him, I'm just glad he still wanted me to hold him.

November 8, 2011

This morning went fairly decently. It seems hard to get things going in the morning for the girls, but they woke up ready to eat breakfast and one of them was emptying the dishwasher (I’ll take it!) shortly after they woke up. Abram has been getting up around 5:00a every morning and then we put him in bed with us to keep sleeping. Isaiah usually wakes up at 6:00a to go to the bathroom and I also bring him back to our bed (once Jason is back to work neither of us will be in bed at 6:00a but for now this is working). This morning Isaiah kept sleeping until 8:30a. And he took a very long nap, but that is a whole other story in a minute.

We let the girls watch one of their movies from the library this morning since they were ready so early. At this point watching Anne of Green Gables is the best English lesson they are going to get! We had a chiropractor appointment at 10:45a and were able to get everyone out the door for that. The girls had also been asking for two days to get dolls from the store (they saw them the last time they were there with me). Just the little boys and I got adjusted (I really needed it after carrying Isaiah around so much) – the girls didn’t want to, which is totally fine.

Our trip to Target went well. We ran into Jeff Dodge with the two kids they are fostering so it was fun to chat with him. Abram finally got to ride the “Aia cart” with Isaiah . . . although I’m not sure it lived up to his expectations since they aren’t the best of friends right now. The girls each picked out a Barbie doll and a few pair of clothes. They were very excited and spent the rest of the day playing with them.

When we got home, I got lunch on the table and Isaiah started a major meltdown (very loud screaming/crying and kicking his legs). He wouldn’t eat and N.O.T.H.I.N.G. would console him. I tried every room of the house, outside, holding him, not holding him, offering him food, not offering him food, etc. IT WAS MAD-DEN-NING! I knew he was tired (yawning and scratching his head) and needed a nap. We took him to the back room so Abram would not be woke up by his very loud screaming/crying and so the girls wouldn’t hear him and come try to be the mom. After awhile I figured out that he needed comforted but was completely fighting being comforted by me. Oh, the distress of an orphan. A few different times I would just hold him as tight as I could so he couldn’t move in hopes of calming him down, but that didn’t work either. When I was doing that he got even more mad and I could hear him crying out “mama_____” and I realized he was calling out for his foster mom. It broke my heart. His complete anger and being mad revealed his utter sadness and broken heart. (Remember, 'sad looks mad and scared looks crazy,' so I knew he was so sad.) I finally resorted to just letting him sit on the floor having his fit. Since he wouldn’t let me comfort him the only thing I could do was just BE there WITH him in his distress. This whole thing went on for well over an hour. FINALLY, his crying calmed a little as he was sitting Indian style on the floor barely sitting again my leg and I saw his eyelids falling. My sweet baby boy cried himself to sleep sitting up. I hated that I couldn’t comfort him, but I knew what was going on. He was mourning his former caregiver (foster mom). I know I'm his forever mom but he is still learning. Dang, it is hard. I scooted closer to him and he let me pick him up and he fell asleep again in my arms. I decided it was best to hold him for his nap after all that.

Jason took the girls to the park around that time. About 30 minutes after Isaiah fell asleep (and I was holding him), I heard Abram crying in his room. DILEMMA. After thinking through all the options, I had to get up (which meant Isaiah woke up) and go to Abram. I’m not sure why he was crying but I sat with both of them while they cried. Isaiah tried to fight me a little from holding him, but shortly after he fell asleep again and I held him on the couch. Thankfully Jason and the girls came home shortly after that.

Sometime after that I got a call from the lab in DSM and found out that some of the blood they took from Isaiah yesterday would not work for some of the tests they needed so they needed me to take him back this afternoon. UGH! Not thrilled about that. There was also no way I could handle watching him be tormented again by myself. Not sure I mentioned how aweful the getting blood drawn experience was for little I yesterday. He is a fearful and sad boy sitting at the lunch table . . . much less having to have a stranger poke a needle in his arm. It was aweful. So, call me a baby but I called my mom and asked her to go with me. I needed the moral support. Prior to hearing we had to go to DSM again, we were contemplating taking the kids to Kate’s to see how that would go. We ended up going out there around 4:00p. Muad was not thrilled to be there, but Mujinga surprisingly jumped right in with playing Barbies in the girls’ room. When mom arrived to go to DSM with me, I told the girls where I was going and Muad wanted to come with me while Mujinga wanted to stay. That is the first time they have been separated, I think, but it went well.

On the way home from DSM I got to talk to another good friend, which was a wonderful blessing. And, earlier that afternoon another friend dropped off coffee and a wonderful note. She told me that she was praising God for His faithfulness in answering a few specific prayers she had been praying for us. She had prayed that we could all sleep well (which we have!). She had prayed that we would be able to find a translator (which we did!). And she prayed that my sister and I would get to spend time together (which we did!). What a beautiful encouragement. I was in tears. I can’t even tell you how much every single encouraging word, foot item dropped off, text, email, etc. means to me. It makes me feel like we are not alone and that is making a huge difference. God is good and his design of the church is beautiful!

When I went in the girls’ room tonight around bedtime Mujinga said, “Mom, Sambela” which means “pray.” She wanted to make sure I was still going to pray with them. Love it! They also let me read more of the Toddler Bible to them. When we got to the Old Testament story about the wall, Mujinga said, “Yericho” (what it sounded like to me). She knew the story was about the wall of Jericho. SO COOL! What a blessing that the girls have some level of knowledge about the Bible and want to read it and pray. I mean, seriously, it is so cool. And I have got to think that it helps having something familiar that they did/know from Africa.

While Jason isn’t officially going back to work until next week (help me, Jesus!), he has to work all day tomorrow (something that was scheduled a long time ago). So, you can PRAY FOR ME FOR TOMORROW (Wednesday)! I have back-ups in place (my sister and my mom), don't worry. I am almost laughing right now wondering how it is going to go. I probably won’t be laughing tomorrow. :)

Something I come back to a lot everyday is God’s word about orphans in James 1:27 to “care for orphans in their distress.” I think most of us (myself until a few days ago) think that when we take a child from their fatherless state and place them into a family, that is caring for them in their distress. And it certainly is – in part. But, the distress of orphans does not stop once you give them a family (in fact, in some ways it actually increases probably). We are currently caring for our kids in their distress and we will be for quite a long time. It just helps me to keep this perspective throughout the day.

Today as Jason and I were sitting with Isaiah in his utter brokenness and heartache, Jason said, “caring for orphans is war.” I agreed and added that our job now – through God’s grace and strength – is to undo the wretched evil that has been done to the these beautiful kids. And it is nothing short of war. Thankfully Jesus has defeated the evil one on the cross and His power has been given to us . . . and thankfully he loves to give it when we are weak.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (1 Corinthians 12:9-10)